Ramblings On Standing Firm

 

Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong (1 Corinthians 16:13, NIV).   I had always thought I was Godly … until Frank came home and told me that we were moving, uprooting.....we were leaving all that I knew as familiar.....we were moving into our first parsonage...the Wednesday before Father's Day.  If you are unfamiliar with a parsonage....they are fully (and I do mean fully furnished).  So, if you want to measure your faith, just decide to pack up everything you own, put it in cardboard boxes, and move into a house that is furnished with odds and ends furniture that does not match.  We moved into the parsonage as the current pastor and his wife moved out.  She was cleaning as she walked out the door and handed us the keys.  I had visions of our new congregation turning out to help us unload all our belongings that we had not sold at the yard sale....what Frank ended up with was me....and my friend Mary.  Our congregation worked.  This was Wednesday.  We had a giant yard sale before we left.....and sold almost everything we owned.  When we packed up in Alex City all of our friends came and helped us pack the truck....and we had the biggest U-Haul there was.  I know they wondered about us.....if you have ever moved you know that liquor boxes make the best moving boxes.....and there we were....with a ton of  alcohol boxes.  I found myself explaining the choice.  Normally when the new pastor moves in....between one leaving and one arriving the ladies of the church come in and make sure all is well.  The ladies of the church did come....but after we were unloaded....they brought the most amazing foods.  That first night after every one left...I was so overwhelmed that I sat down and cried.  What kind of impression had I made on them.  I was tired, dirty...tired....cranky....well.....snarky.......and did I mention tired.  Exhaustion was oozing from every pore on my body.  Mary went home....and Frank and I began locating necessities like the coffee pot...and cups.  We put our bed together and made it so we would have a place to lay our weary heads in our bright blue room.  We ate off paper plates for days because I could not find my dishes.  We moved in on Weds afternoon....and the church had a huge fund-raiser on Saturday....all day.  I still did not know where things were.  It took a month to get the boxes totally unloaded....and I believe that six+ years later there are still a few in the shed.  Next move I am hiring Two Men And A Truck to come and load up what we have...and unload it when we get there.  With all my stuff in place....and the boxes in the shed we settled into being the new pastor and wife in Rock Mills.  The chicken-que was great fun and I got to meet a lot of the members that way.  Life rolled into some routine....I began to thrive.....I found my niche....and I knew I never wanted to leave this place.  God knew what he was doing when he talked me into setting aside my personal comfort and letting him "move my cheese".  He knew what he was doing when he asked me to forfeit my convenience.  I worked in Alex City....I lived there....I would be driving an hour each way....and sometimes it would be very dark when I began or ended my drive.  I learned to serve God to the fullest of my abilities and whereever I was sent.....and while I was serving Him I would be doing it in joy, with a servants heart.....and not a black heart.  I sometimes fall into a rut of a complaining spirit and I whine....but I remember when I am in this pit that most of the stuff I am whining about do not matter in the grand scheme of things.  It is then that I have to hit my knees and ask God to show me how to focus on the things that do matter.  I am learning when I face a difficult situation to seek God first...no matter how large....or how small.

I Am My Parent's... Caregiver

I raised three children and when it came time for me to be the caregiver for my parents I discovered that caring for my parents was one of the hardest jobs I had ever had.  Many of my friends were concerned for me when my parent's moved in with Frank and I.  They all knew how busy Frank and I were and wondered how we would find the time to take care of my parents.  Well...when they first moved in with us they were mobile.  My dad had prostate cancer and my mom worked the third shift at Wal-mart and she just needed someone to be with my dad at night.  It would be for six weeks.  Six weeks turned into six years as I watched my father battle prostate cancer a second time, a fierce bought with pneumonia three times, two hospital stays, and lung cancer, which eventually took his life.  I watched as my mom went through the stages of dementia.  I knew I had no choice.  I was an only child and they were my parents.  They raised me....and it was my turn to care for them. Someone once asked me, how do you find time to do all these things.  I didn’t find time...I took time the time. I also took time to be quiet and listen to God. It was in that quiet and stillness that I found strength to move on.  It is important that caregivers find time to feed themselves.  If they don't tend to their own needs too....they will find themselves declining.....a healthy caregiver is the best caregiver.  My goal was to make my parents last days wonderful ones.  I did not always succeed because I eventually had to make some hard choices that angered my mom.  My parents took a trip and became a Silver Alert for 72 hours.  It was 72 hours NO ONE should have to go through.....EVER!  I was amazed at all the people who came to help search.  People I had never met....and there they were....flying the area, driving miles, providing food, making calls.  It was because of this event that the end for them was not in my home....but step one was an assisted living facility, because they needed 24 hour care, which moved into respite care, and then a nursing home.  It broke my heart to see them digress.  Cancer ate at my father and while they were in the assisted living facility Frank told me I had to tell my father it was ok to go home.  The problem was...it wasn't ok.  God and I wrestled a long time on this one.  One day....when he was at his weakest....I gave him permission to go.  When we got home I went to bed and cried myself to sleep.  That night my brother (who died when he was 5) visited me and told me it was his turn and he would take care of daddy.  They moved my dad to respite care two days later, he was there a week, and the day they moved him to the Dadeville Nursing Home he went home to be with Jesus.....I learned a lot as a caregiver.  I learned that God is in control.  Dealing with my mom with dementia at the death of my dad was heartbreaking....her mind was almost gone.  When she ended up at Adam's Nursing Home she knew she had a husband....but she thought he was there working....and eventually she did not mention him at all until her time had come to join him.  As a caregiver I realized....one day I may need one so I needed to show my children how to do it.  It wasn't easy....honestly....I struggled with raw nerves, frustration, resentment....guilt.  I wanted anyone to say...."Let me know if there's something I can do to help"....but they didn't.  Frank and I would snatch dates when my parent's pastor, or members of their church,  came to visit...but eventually those subsided.  We took a few short trips by finding someone to sit with them....or check on them.  My friend, Mary was great at this.  She loved them and they loved her.  I struggled with hurt from the family because they didn't come.  Once my mom was alone in the nursing home they didn't come because she didn't know them.  She didn't know ME all the times I went either....but she knew she had company and that someone cared enough to stop by. I had three angels that I could count on....my angel Melinda, my angel Angelia and her precious sweet angel mom.  My mom always loved telling me about their visits.  They always left me sweet notes in my mom's guest book....it made my heart smile.  During the time of being a caregiver for my parents I felt a loss of identity, a loss of independence, and isolation from people.  My mom felt that same way for a while I am sure.  I also felt afraid, I felt an obligation (I was their ONLY child), and I felt guilt.  It was the guilt that almost did me in.....until one day the nurse at the nursing home told me what a good job I did.  To caregivers out there now....or gonna be caregivers....I have a suggestion for you....if you find yourself, or a friend, in this role....tell them....I see you, I see the load that is weighing you down.  I hurt for you!  The other thing to do...."I am at the store....can I pick up something for you?"  When I was in the middle of the caregiver role it was just something I did because they were my parents and I loved them....I cried a lot.  Now with 4 years under my belt after the fact.  I have grown, I can smile, and I can laugh at some of the memories.

 

 

 

 

My Crazy Dizzy World

My Bible verse for today is:  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. (Matthew 6:33, NIV) 
 When I was a little girl, one of my favorite things to do was to twirl in the grass. With arms out stretched, I’d spin around and around until I was so dizzy that I would  fall to the ground and laugh like I was a crazy person. It was a fun way to spend a lazy summer day in South Florida.  Now that I’m older, I can’t handle spinning in circles. I suffer from Vertigo and nausea sets  in reminding me that I’m not a young “spinning-girl” anymore.  Several years ago we went to an amusement park with our daughter and her husband.  I felt young at heart and thought I would get on a ride that spins in circles, the tea-cups. My husband loves rides, especially roller-coasters so while he and our SIL, Steven got on a roller-coaster, daughter, Amy, and I thought we would try out the tea cups.  I remembered those days as a child riding this ride with my father and how much fun it was.....but that was then.....and this was now.  As I walked up the ramp to the "Tea Cups" ride  my stomach began to churn and twirl. As it began to spin I honestly thought the park employee was going to have to stop the ride to let me off. I decided to "man up" but yucky feelings followed. My center of balance was completely thrown off and ruined the rest of the day for me as I tried to find my center of balance.  Just like that day in the amusement park, I constantly find myself thrown off balance from the wheeling whirl of life's clutter.  I am one of those people who is constantly complicating my life.  My biggest obstacle is trying to live as an uncluttered woman.  I know I should depend completely on God for direction and strength....but I don't always.   This world is a crazy dizzy one and it is hard to navigate and sift though all the clutter that is thrown at us each day.  My life is full of busy-ness.  I overbook myself, I don't say "no" to the latest committee, I have meetings, work, household (which is neglected a lot), pains, .....you know the story.....you probably live this life too.  It is then that I look toward Proverbs 16:3 and find these words:  "Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and He will establish your plans."  and in Matthew 6:33 I find "But seek ye first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."  I read it....but I don't always heed it.  God gives order to our thoughts...and our to-do lists.....but we have to allow/ask Him.  What I do find when I finally "let go and let God" is that everything changes when I seek Him first and commit all my plans to Him.  Jesus is no stranger to clutter.
He walked the same earth we do and dealt with the same struggles and problems we deal with. He loved many a cluttered woman while here on earth and many more before and since His ascension. He knows your clutter – all of your complicated stuff – and He invites you to come just the same.  When we position ourselves in the presence of the Peace-giver and ask Him to lead and prioritize our heart matters, the uncluttering begins. And in the uncluttering our chaos is calmed.  It is important that we know whom we are seeking first.  It is important that all our activities, emotions, relationships, and thoughts are committed to Christ.  Then....we will find an end to the crazy-dizzy world we get caught up in.  Then....we will find peace and rest.  Are you willing to turn it all over to Him? 
 

 

March Madness Hodge Podge

It's that time again! Wednesday seem to come around rather frequently.....at least once a week.  Here are my responses to Joyce's questions to this week's Wednesday Hodgepodge. Answer on your own blog then march back to Joyce's blog by clicking here and add your link to the party. See you there! Oh!  Be sure to respond to someones post.  It makes it a lot more fun when you get some bloggy love.

1. March is National Women's History Month. In that vein, who are three women who've been influential in your life? How so? My three women are my daughter, Kathryn.  She is a missionary in Moldova with Stella's Voice and what she does and how she does it are amazing. Her heart is so full of love and from the moment she was born I knew what real love was.   Number two is my Aunt Shirley.  She was one of those aunts who was like a sister and mother all rolled up into one.  She was crafty and musical and filled my life with creativity and harmony.  The third is my mom.  Our road together was often rocky.  She was a type A personality and I was a B-.  We may not have always gotten along but the life lessons she taught me were many.  I miss both Aunt Shirley and my mom but sometimes I can here their harmony if I just close my eyes and listen carefully.

2. In what ways do you think women have it easier than men? They can cry and not be considered a softy.  They can show other emotions more easily.  They can show love easier.  They get to be the mom's.

3. What do you need most right now: faith, love, hope, or peace?Hope.  I need hope to believe that our country will find it's way back to God and stop this craziness we call government.

4. Do you have a collection? If so, what do you collect and why? I actually have two.  One was a past collection that I no longer collect....I collect lighthouses.  I am a lighthouse fanatic.  I started this collection by visiting the lighthouse and then collecting a small statue.  My mom was the reason I quit, because once she was on the bandwagon she bought me lighthouse everything.  The second would be the Willow Tree angels.  My friend Mary gave me my first one and my favorite ones are the Holy Family that Frank gave me for Christmas one year.

5. Plaids, checks, polka dots, stripes...your favorite? I love polka dots because they are whimsical.  I love plaids because they remind me of Ireland and Scotland...Black Watch plaid is my favorite.  I am not big on checks or stripes.  I like stripes to wear....but only if they run north and south.

6. In what ways are you the same as your childhood self?  I am not at all.  I don't even remember who that person was.  My childhood self was very timid and had very little self-esteem.  My adult self is still somewhat timid....and knows who she is....a child of God.

7. You're a contestant on the TV game show Jeopardy. What category will you ace?  Anything with Literature.....I am a trivia nut!  BTW...I WAS on a game show once as a three time champion.....and the question that cost me the car was about Scooby Doo.  I still hate that cartoon.

8. Insert your own random thought here. What is your favorite sign of spring?  I have two.  I love it when the tulip trees (Japanese magnolias) and the jonquils bloom.  It really puts a smile on my face and erases the winter blues.

 

Japanese Magnolia (Tulip Tree in the south)

 

Jonquils (daffodils)

Put Your Plow Away

Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus(Philippians 3:13-14 NIV).
I found an awesome bible devotional a few weeks ago and it hit me like a brick, because I have an uncanny knack to remember things I need to forget and forget things I need to remember. I am blessed though because God, on the other hand, forgets what He promises to forget and remembers what He promises to remember. God said, “Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more” (Hebrews 10:17).   Paul tells us one of the secrets to his success as a Christian and in life. “But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:13,14).  I wish I could say that I did that.  I believed it....I just couldn't seem to get it right.  Forgetting was so hard for me.  In the Bible, God tells us that He “forgets” our sins and remembers them no more.  That is a comforting thought.  You know....there are a lot of things that begin with the words “God remembered.”  “God remembered Noah” (Genesis 8:1). “He (God) remembered Abraham” (Genesis 19:29). “God remembered Rachel” (Genesis 30:22). “God heard their groaning and he remembered his covenant with Abraham, with Isaac and with Jacob” (Exodus 2:24). In each incident, God’s remembering meant that He was about to do something - God was about to act.  Therefore, if God’s remembering means He is about to act, then God forgetting means that He is not going to act. “For I will forgive their wickedness,” He says, “and will remember their sins no more” (Jeremiah 31:34). He forgets our sins – He is not going to act upon. For a long time I had a burden....I would go to the altar and pray....and the next Sunday be back up there praying again.  I just did not trust God enough to handle it.  Eventually my pastor told me I was telling God He was a liar.  If I believed in Him...then I should believe He has it.  What I was doing was plowing the ground over and over.  I needed to come to a point where I could plow, plant, nurture, and see the harvest come to fruition. 
Then there came a day when I asked God to help me forgive someone....and forget all the hurt.  I asked God to help me cease plowing.  I gave the bad memories to God....and allowed myself to replace them with healthy, good memories.  Let me tell you....it was sweet release....and sweet peace.  The kind of peace that allowed me to pray over him before he died and to sing at his funeral.  The past was just that....past....there were sweet memories....and once I allowed God to remind me of them....I smiled.  How about you today?  Do you have some hurts in your life that you can't seem to let go of?  Is there a field you continue to plow?  I am encouraging you today to give it to God....put the hurt away....and put the plow in the barn where it belongs!

Hodge Podging in March

The Wednesday Hodgepodge is back in action this week, marching onward into a brand new month. Answer the questions on your own blog, then add your link at the end of Joyce's post by clicking here. Hodgepodge links only please! Here we go-

1. February ended with an extra 24 hours in 2016. What did you do with your bonus day?
I taught school, then we ran to Opelika to pick up some stuff Frank had ordered, I bought a birthday gift for a friend with some Kohl's bucks I had, we ate dinner at Mikata's and came home in time to watch Scorpion and NCIS.  It was a pretty great extra 24 hours.

2. What's something in your life that's grown by leaps and bounds in recent days, weeks, months, or years? I'm giving you lots of room to come up with an answer here, so no fair passing on this one.
I am going to have to agree with Joyce and say my prayer life. 

3.  Do you read reviews about a film before deciding if you'll see it? Did you watch The Oscars this year, and if so your thoughts on the program? How many of the Best Picture nominees had you seen prior to the broadcast? (Spotlight, The Martian, The Big Short, The Revenant, Mad Max: Fury Road, Room and Brooklyn) If you watched The Oscars who gets your award for 'best dressed'?
I usually read a little something before seeing a film, but am  more persuaded by the short trailers commercials on TV. If a film is based on a book I'll definitely read the review first, because I don't like film makers messing with my book plots.  I never watch The Oscars. I hadn't seen any of the nominated Best Pics this year.  I have not had time to go to the movies. 

4. When did you last have overnight houseguests? Give us your top three tips on being a good houseguest.  I don't think I've had overnight houseguests since the Christmas holidays we had for Kat and Brian in October.  We do have two extra bedrooms and an exta bath in the parsonage.  We love company.  As far as tips for being a good houseguest...Make the bed....or strip it when you leave.  I tell my guests to make themselves at home and I mean that.  I will always have clean sheets and towels for you.  If you are going to be out exploring and not going to make it for a planned meal....let me know.  Aside from that I am pretty easy.

5.  March 2nd is Peanut Butter Lover's Day. Will you be celebrating? If so, would you prefer a home made peanut butter cookie, a Reese's peanut butter cup, an old fashioned peanut butter and jelly sandwich, or shall I just hand you a jar and a tablespoon?  I love peanut butter.  I keep a jar in my desk along with a spoon for emergencies.  I celebrated  by eating some Nutter Butters. 

6.  Why is failure important? Or isn't it?  Failure happens and we grow from the mistakes we made. The rest of my answer I am copying from Joyce because it is awesome and I would have said the same thing....she just said it first!  "Failing means you had the courage to try. Go you! And if you keep trying you'll eventually achieve something, which I think you appreciate all the more because it didn't come easily. Failure builds character, it helps keep us humble. When we fail (and we will) we need to learn from criticism. We need to keep trying, keep hoping, and keep working hard." "Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently." -Henry Ford

7. Share with us one fun thing on your March calendar. EASTER and SPRING BREAK!!!!!!! I will be leaving for Knoxville as soon as church is over Easter Sunday!  I cannot wait!

8. Insert your own random thought here.   Joyce's daughters are bloggers and so is mine.  Kat and her husband Brian are missionaries in Moldova.  Her blog is infrequent....but very touching and powerful about the life of a missionary.  The blog is called Team Jones in Moldova.  I am so proud of them, their faith, their work.  I hope you will hop over and give them a little bloggy love.

Friends Are Friends....Now or Forever

Spring Break Frank and I have the pleasure of visiting with some friends that I have known a longgggggg time.  Susan and I met when we were five and I moved into Vedado Park.  Her husband Chuck became my friend the first time I met him.  They are the Godparents of my daughter, Kat.  We have been friends for over 50 years.    I was sitting here feeling blessed to have them in my life and it made me stop and think about all the friends I have.  I have to admit I am so thankful for the friends I have made through my life because they:

• may have kept me sane in High School
• helped me survive my mom...and I theirs
• held me when I experienced loss 
• helped me navigate parenthood
• built my confidence and gave me support when I didn't have it
• traveled with me
• would sing along with me in the car and bring a smile to my face
• understood that sometimes I did not want to talk and they would just let me sing in the car
• consume enormous amounts of caffeine while studying into the wee hours of the morning
• tried to get me to date their brother...more than once
• helped me raise my daughter and loved her like their own
• would watch me grow and support my decisions
• wouldn't hesitate to drop a truth bomb if necessary
• would assist me in conquering things I didn't know I was capable of
• often gave me a supportive ear
• set a great example and gave me a desire to emulate their passion.
• picked up where we left off....even after a long absence 
• sat up with me late into the night and shared wonderful stories and life lessons
• shared your children with me 
• loved me when I felt I was unloveable
• allowed me to make mistakes sometimes
• shared their passions with me   

I am a true believer that everything happens for a reason.  Because of that I am extremely  grateful to have shared my path with some wonderful people I call friends.  
 
It would've been hard to survive my crazy life if it without the innumerable people that I've been blessed to meet.  Each and every person has made an impact, assisting me in the journey to become the best of who I am supposed to be.  Dan Seals has a song called One Friend that really touches home with me.  I hope you will listen to it.  

 I always thought you were the best
I guess I always will.
I always felt that we were blessed,
And I feel that way, still.
Sometimes we took the hard road,
But we always saw it through. If I had only one friend left,
I'd want it to be you.
Sometimes the world was on our side;
Sometimes it wasn't fair.
Sometimes it gave a helping hand;
Sometimes we didn't care.
'Cause when we were together,
It made the dream come true.
If I had only one friend left,
I'd want it to be you.
Someone who understands me,
And knows me inside out.
And helps keep me together,
And believes without a doubt,
That I could move a mountain:
Someone to tell it to.
If I had only one friend left,
I'd want it to be you.
'Cause when we were together,
It made the dream come true.
If I had only one friend left,
I'd want it to be you.
Someone who understands me,
And knows me inside out.
And helps keep me together,
And believes without a doubt,
That I could move a mountain:
Someone to tell it to.
If I had only one friend left,
I'd want it to be you.