Lost Memories and Other Concepts of Life!

Ok, today I want to discuss lost memories. I lose stuff all the time. I have lost a pair of gold hoop earrings....but those kinds of things don't bother me....what bothers me is to see my parents lose their memories. Frank and I went Christmas shopping today at Cokesbury in B'ham. We scored big time on gifts and when we got home my mom wanted to see all our goodies. I showed her each one and explained who the gift was for. When I got to one she said, "Who?" I explained who it was....and her conditioned response was..."Nope, don't know them." I immediately responded...."yes you do....you have known her for over 45 years as (gave maiden name) and for 33 years as (gave married name)." It frustrates me when she so quickly responds with her pat...nope don't know them answer. It is like that answers away any future retort....and all it does is make me frustrated. It does not seem to frustrate her at all...just me. Where are those memories? Why are they gone? Are they truly gone or is she just to tired to pull them up from her files of folks she has known in her 78 years of living? I wish I knew. My mother living with me for the past two years has been a true test of patience and believe me I was not praying for patience. I know I don't have much of it....and don't really want God to dole out a mess of them for me....to give me some. But....he has....he gave me my mother....in my house....with me....for the past two years. Funny thing is....I am still sane. So is my husband. Up until June....my dad was keeping me sane...but while I was in Philly during the last week in June my dad apparently suffered a small stroke and lost all his short term memory skills. He does not respond with her nope, I don't know answers...he just asks the same question several times. He does not know what day it is...so he gets confused about where Frank and I are at any given time. He wakes up...and we are at work...or church....we come home....we visit...eat....they go to bed...and the cycle continues. He can tell you what kind of nut he used on a particular house 15 years ago...and why...but he can't tell you what he did today. That breaks my heart! Now both of my parents have lost memories. Mom has lost the past ones...Daddy the present ones....so virtually...his memories...have ceased. Yesterday I talked about 1144 marbles that represent the number of Saturdays I may have left in my life to spend with my loved ones....if I live to be 75.....well...both my parents are past 75....so they are reusing their marbles I guess. I have a heart for the elderly...but it hurts when it is your parents becoming elderly....and you are becoming the parent/caregiver...instead of the child. I have to talk about it....and Frank and I laugh about some things...if we didn't we would probably both cry ourselves sick. My cousin Terri and her significant other, Elin sent me a great book....Thanks guys!...called You and Your Aging Parent....it is by Barbara Silverstone and Helen Kandel Hyman. If you have not read it....read it! It is very enlightening. There is not enough stuff out there for those of us in this position now....and those of you who aren't there yet....your time is coming....be afraid! Actually, be afraid is harsh....Be prepared would be a better concept. I am so glad Terri and Elin were alert to the situation. They really helped a lot. But...back to my thoughts...Family is all you have in life....and you should value them, share with them, and be aware of what is happening in their lives. You never know....you might be the life ring that is thrown to them when they feel they are drowning. Happy Saturday to all and to all a good evening! Karen