Help Me Please! Every Day Is A Struggle!

 Many things seem to happen to me when I go to California. I have spent many good times there with friends, family, and my AEA family. My first time was in Los Angeles with family.  I had children at the time and we did all the family things.  There was so much I wanted to see.  My second visit was in the Lake Shasta area.  I loved the countryside.  It was a family vacation and each of us got to chose one thing we wanted to see.  I wanted to see the giant sequoiahs.  They were impressive and made me feel so small.  The first time I attended the Representative Assembly in LA with the AEA.  I went as a local delegate and had a blast exploring the town.   The NEA (National Education Association) had tours set up for us but I was a single mom and could not afford to pay for them.  The concierge at the Beverly Hills Hilton saw how disappointed I was and taught me how to utilize the bus system.  I saw everything I wanted to see for a grand total of 7.50 and got to spend all the time I wanted to in each place.  The next time I went we went to San Diego and I fell in love with this town. The people were amazing, the weather was amazing the whole town was amazing.  However, there is one not so amazing  impression I must share….one that left a huge impact on  my heart. A friend of mine and I ventured over to Starbuck’s Coffee Shop. I had just finished the daily newspaper for the Alabama delegates.  Starbucks was just across the street and I was dying for a shot of caffeine.  The area we were in was just like 5th Avenue in New York - lots of fancy shops, movie theatres, museums. It was a pretty fancy place. We sat down near the window. I am a people watcher….and there she was….directly across from us. She was a young. She wore a greasy T-shirt. Her skin was pale, gray. She sat next to the garbage can. She seemed to blend into the concrete, part of the gray buildings, gray sky. Her greasy hair covered her face. You could not see her eyes. The busy folks just hurried by her.  They did not even know that she existed. It was no accident that she was in from of Starbuck’s - the icon of a new materialism and overpriced coffee. In front of her rumpled rags, she had a cardboard sign in front of her and a small paper cup. Her cardboard sign said, “Please help me. Every day is a struggle.”  I was frozen in place by her plea….“Please help me. Every day is a struggle.” She was asking people for money. But her sign was a prayer. “Please help me. Every day is a struggle.”  Her sign was a prayer. The money placed in her cup was not enough to answer her prayer, but would help carry her through. As I readied for bed that night I could not get her out of my mind.  Her image was branded there….and so was her cardboard sign….”Please help me.  Every Day is a struggle.”  Her prayer should be our prayer. Her day is our day. Her struggle is our struggle. Because she is in the dirt, we have work to do. “Please help me. Every day is a struggle.”  Her body was gray and ragged. My soul has been known to get gray and ragged. Maybe your soul too, your heart, your emotions have gone gray. Maybe you are able to get to your job, get along with your life, but maybe you feel thrown out next to the garbage can, where that woman was sitting. My heart broke for her....and then I remembered that she was me.....dirty, ragged, homeless.  I had to make some changes...or I was going down with her.  For every step I made forward I took three back.    I felt as if I was going deaf.  I kept hearing her scream out in my ears, “Please help me. Every day is a struggle,"  but was she really screaming....was she really talking....who was saying this prayer in my head?  There it was again....can you not hear her?  “Please help me. Every day is a struggle.”  Let me tell you that her prayer should be our prayer. Her day is our day. Her struggle is our struggle. Because she is in the dirt, we have work to do. “Please help me. Every day is a struggle.”  Her body was gray and ragged. My soul has been known to get gray and ragged. Maybe your soul too, your heart, your emotions have gone gray. Maybe you are able to get to your job, get along with your life, but maybe you feel thrown out next to the garbage can, where that woman was sitting.  Is this where you want to stay?  I know I don't.  I looked in her eyes....right there....and saw me.  I saw her plea....I saw her pain....I saw.....myself.....and I was ashamed for the many times I did nothing.