An Ending....and a Beginning

The blooming season ended today with the birth of high winds.  It always saddens me to see the blossoms from my azaleas and my snowball plant drop to the ground.  Today, before the winds hit 25 mph I took my camera out for one last picture.  Aren't they gorgeous?  This will be my last season to see these particular flowers bloom because we are moving.  Two hours after this picture was made there was just a handful of blooms left on the shrubs.  Yep, it is official and listed on the North Alabama Methodist Conference website...Frank was given a new church assignment and we will be leaving Waverly United Methodist and going to Rock Mills United Methodist.  Rock Mills comes with a parsonage so we will be moving sometime in June.  Normally, moving day is the Wednesday before Father's Day weekend....which is the first day of new assignments....but the people at Rock Mills asked if they could fix up the parsonage before we moved in....hey...I am all about new paint and stuff....we even volunteered to help.  Our new church is just outside of Roanoke, AL and a stones throw from the Georgia line.  I will be commuting to BRHS everyday and am excited about that prospect.  I will start having my quiet time with God in the car each morning.  I am naming my prayer time....Hwy 22 prayers.  The parsonage is located on Hwy 22 and this road runs all the way to Alexander City....a straight shot.  There is only two stop lights between me and the parking lot.  If I cut through the mill village there is only one....talk about lucky.  I have friends who have commuted for years...so now it is my turn.  I am sad that I will live farther away from Mary....excited that I will only be 20 minutes from Amanda....sad that I will have to give up the Arbor service(I told them...after 10 years...and being there from the beginning....that I was just taking a sabbatical....who knows...in a few years....where we will be moved....and I am not one for burning bridges.  I am excited about our new ministry opportunities.  So it is with mixed emotions that life continues.  I am fortunate that my mom is in Alex City at Adams Nursing Home and I will be here five days a week for work so I will see her daily.  I am also lucky that I am only 45 minutes away in case I am needed.  We could have been given a north Alabama church...say...Huntsville...or Tuscaloosa.  So, with my new venture facing me....it is time to get out the boxes...and start packing. 

Thought I would share the snowballs with you too....they seem to have held up a little better in the wind.  Have a blessed Sunday...and a great week next week.  I am counting down the days....20 to go. Whoo hoo!

Life Goes.....and it Sucks!

Just when I thought I had it all under control again....the rug was pulled out from under me. We had to take my dad off of Hospice care when we put him in assisted living...because that is assisted living rules. They cannot be part of Hospice upon entry...and after 30 days they can be placed on Hospice. So...we had to cancel Hospice....and pick up Home Health. What a pain. It is all the same building...just different parts....but all new paper work...what a headache. Anyways...today the Cancer called to tell me my dad had an appointment to discuss his P.E.T. scan and C.A.T. scan from last week...at 10:00...talk about lousy timing...if Peggy (the manager at the Meadows) could not take them....I was going to have to take yet another day off to deal with this. Sigh! I am glad I have a real understanding boss. An hour later the Cancer Center called back...after I had stewed about this new development for an hour...and told me we did not have to come. That depressed me tremendously....because it means there is nothing more they can do. They just wanted to make sure we went back to Hospice at the end of the 30 day period. My mind is racing....will we make 30 days? Are any of us guaranteed 30 days?....are we guaranteed one day? Sigh...I had a butt kicking reality check....my dad is dying and there is nothing I can do about it. We are all born to die....I know this in my head....but my head and heart are not on speaking terms at the moment. My heart is hanging on for that last little glimmer of hope. My head is taking this all very clinically....we are born, we pay taxes, we die...the end. Somewhere in between head and heart...is a wonderful path that I have walked with a very special man for 55 years. It is a path I have loved every step of. For those of you who are out there...hug those you love really good today, and be so grateful you have them with you....no matter for how long. If I have learned nothing from this experience I know now that life is what it is. It is not always good yet how you handle it makes you who you are. I went to see my parents at the Meadows today....just like I always do. My dad seemed out of sorts. He held my hand like a person who is drowning and needs to hang on to something. He kept looking me in the eyes...like he was trying to tell me something. I kept searching his face...looking for a clue. When I got ready to leave....I kissed him...twice today...and told him I would see him tomorrow....his response today was, "maybe." It took my breath away from me. I barely made it to the door befor I came unglued. I realized today...that he needs me to tell him it is ok for him to go. I cried all the way to the house. I don't want him to suffer...but I don't want to live without him either. One of my wants is not going to happen...and the bigger person would let him go...so I am practicing with you guys here tonight.....ok...here goes...."Daddy, I love you with all my heart...and it is ok to leave us when you get ready. I promise to take care of mama." Whew..that was hard...not as hard as telling him face to face is going to be...so please keep me in your prayers and thoughts that I can let him go without him knowing it is killing me inside. I love this man...I wish my own daughter had had a father like him. I am fortunate. God sent me Frank...who is the closest thing I have ever known to my father. NIght all and God Bless!