Isaiah 6:8

8 Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?”And I said, “Here am I. Send me!”

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Cinderella? I Don't Think So.

I went to a women's conference last weekend and one of the speakers, Angela Thomas, asked the the book Cinderella....what character are you? Wow what a powerful question. I sat there for a long bit and thought about my answer....I chuckled softly to myself....I know I would not be Cinderella....I am not beautiful enough. I don't think I would be the wicked step-mother....I am not that mean.....and certainly not the wicked step-sisters....cause I am not that feet aren't that big never occured to me to be the fairy god-mother.....and I knew I wasn't the mice, the coachman, the pumpkin (although that was a thought) who would I be? Then it came to me. All my life I have suffered from poor/low self-esteem....I am an almost paralyzing state. I would have been the other girls at the know...the ones who stood at the wall....wishing the prince would ask them to dance.....and when it did not happen....going home with my girlfriends....talking about all the other people at the dance. Yep, that would be me....the no-name characters.....the ones you never see....or know. Let me tell reality....that was my life. The only people who thought I was pretty....were my parents and God.....and my parents had to love me....and I thought God needed glasses. I can remember asking God....why can't I be beautiful God? Why can't I have a cool name God? Why? Why? Why? Then one day it dawned on God's eyes....the one who created me....I am just exactly like he wants me.....and I am beautiful. The problem is....I don't look in a God mirror everyday....and I don't see a beautiful person....I see every single flaw. I remember a particularly hurtful time in high school....when the captain of the football team....asked me to a party. ME! He asked ME! His name was Mike...and I was hopelessly in love with him. I remember sighing every single time he passed my locker on his way to class. How silly we are as teenagers....anyway...I am digressing. Mike asked me to this party. I, of course, said yes.....the only thing I did not know....was that it was a joke...his friends had dared him to ask me. I was the brunt of a joke....fortunately....God intervened....Mike picked me up for the party, we went out to dinner first, then took a drive....(we were supposed to arrive last)....somewhere during the drive....God took control of the wheel and Mike....we never made it to the party....and we dated for several turned out...Mike thought I was funny.....and loved to hear me sing....which...if a radio was on.....I did. He took me to Phipps Park....and we swang.....and danced under the moonlight. It was probably one of the most romantic evenings I ever experienced. It was not until after I graduated from high school that Mike owned up to the lowness of the behavior. Kids can be so cruel. I am....many years later....learning to be pretty....still struggling with an anorexic struggles with eating. The coolest thing I have an the word GUIDANCE. Guidance is my special time with someone who thinks I am is that time when God is in the room....and we dance. It is that special moment when He puts His arms around me....and tells everyone else...."Hey, this is my baby girl....." Wow! It is at that exact moment that He invites me to dance the dance of my life with Him. He does not make me be a Wall Flower....He makes me a strobe light......Guidance....God U and I Dance....and oh what a dance it is. I may never be Heather Whitestone in my eyes....but it is ok....because in God's eyes....I am His....and that is all that matters.


Trina said...

Yet another thought-provoking, inspirational devotional from my dear friend! God blessed you in so many ways. I'm so glad you've shared your writings with me. Love you!

Kathie said...

Great devotional as usual. Sorry I have visited lately. Been in the USA with my daughter and new grandson. Blessings from Costa Rica