Isaiah 6:8

8 Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?”And I said, “Here am I. Send me!”

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

The Party is Over

The party is over. Yesterday I said goodbye to my intern, Jennifer. We hugged....walked out into the hall....she went left, I went right. I walked quickly so she would not see that I had tears in my eyes. It was a sad moment. Goodbyes always are.

This morning I got to my room and sat in the silence, waiting for Jennifer to come back and fill my room with her smile, her presence, her effervescence...but all I got was silence. It was deafening. The bell rang for first block to arrive and she was still missing. Life had to go on. Hers was.

Jennifer, the intern, was phenomenal. I truly believe she was one of Dr. Barry's best. She had a love for the kids, a love of the language and culture, and a passion for the field. She will make some system a wonderful teacher. I hope it is one close by so I can keep up with her. She came into my room and made it her own. She met the kids and made them hers as well. They tried for her....well for the most part...there are always kids that won't try no matter what....but she handled them too....with the greatest of professionalism. She will be a good teacher....because she has the calling. This is a calling that some wish they had....few actually experience it. Jennifer....she had it!

As today draws to a close....a day without her...I am glad to be back in the saddle again....but sad because my life was touched someone who made a difference in my life. Good luck girl! Knock 'em dead whereever you end up. I know you will set the world on fire!

¡Hasta la vista chica!

Monday, April 28, 2008

What a Feeling!

Wow! What a rush. Saturday night was that and more. We, being Still Magnolias, opened for Cowboy Crush at the RiverCenter. I cannot tell you how awesome that was. We had to be there at 3:30 for a sound check. The sound check did not actually occur until after 4. Until the sound check we were nestled away in our OWN DRESSING ROOM complete with lights! How cool is that? Anyways, our sound check time came and we went out on the stage and I thought I would die. I could barely catch my breath. I looked out into the auditorium and realized how enormous this place really was, locked my knees, and almost tossed my cookies. We checked the sounded terrible in my ears from the monitor on stage....but Frank and Randy assured us that it sounded great out in the audience. We were escorted off stage and Trenna from Cowboy Crush appeared from behind the curtains and told us we had a great sound.
Back in the dressing room, Amanda decided to run get some Bare Minerals make up with Randy somewhere near the Center...and Frank, Becca, and I went and walked the Spring Fest exhibits in front of the River Center. We ended up at the Cantina....for some chips and something cool to drink. Relaxing was a good thing for stomach was still tied in knots.
We headed back to the dressing room to get ready....make-up time....I let Amanda have her way with my face....a true rarity. I don't wear make-up....but occassionally like to play dress up. Today was one of those days....I know that without a lot of make-up looked washed out on a stage under the lights. We dressed, socialized, vocalized....and before we knew it....the stage guys was coming to get us.....and to the wings we headed....we heard our names....and all of a sudden the lights were in my eyes...and we were standing in the middle of a stage I had dreamed of performing on....the concert of my dreams had begun.
We started off with Almost Home....and kicked into Patti's Song....I wish she had been there....she would have loved the fact that her song was being done from the big stage.....Dixie Man was next....and my great kazoo talent was a hit....I can't remember what else we sang....I just know that it was about that time that I truly began having fun....and the rest was just icing on the cake....we were treated like dignitaries...hugged by Cowboy Crush members....and it was a dream come true. We had our pictures made with some fans...and even signed some autographs....Amazing!
Sunday morning..sigh!..I was back in the real world....Sunday morning I woke up.....just plain ole makeup was the only remnant I had of the night before....had it really happened?.....Yep....I touched my very made up face....and knew it was not a dream......checked my calendar....and remembered....we were opening for Michael Martin Murphy on June 6th.....yep....we are STILL MAGNOLIAS!....and I hope to be one for a long, long time!

Peace Out!

Monday, April 21, 2008

Prom Week Has Passed

Ok, I know I did not blog last week. I have a good excuse though, I was tied up with getting ready for the Junior - Senior prom. What a job! I was not in my classroom at all during the entire week. I was in the girl's gym working. I was afforded the luxury of this this year....because I have an intern. She taught....and I worked on the prom. The best of both worlds. Everyone should have an intern when they take on a major enterprise like the prom. I am also very fortunate to work with a Dream Team. Our prom is in the girl's gym which is a Cinderella gym. It has been long forgotten and abused. Yet, with a little help from some black plastic, some decorations, rental tables and chairs, lights, a was transformed into an elegant place. Our theme this year was "A Night to Remember" and it truly was. The kids all arrived in their party attire and danced their hearts content. My Dream Team: Mary Jean Fagan, Marie Parks, Ed Allen, Beth Dewberry, Jan Meyer and Dwayne Riddle....all made my job so easy. I am fortunate to have them....and at the moment a bit sad....the let down after a job well done....and my final let down. This year's prom was my swan song. I will not be in charge of the prom next year.....the end of an era. In my 18 years here at BRHS I have been the prom sponsor....12 of those is time for the youngsters to take it on. Funny, I was once one of those youngsters....and now...I am one of the senior members of our staff....I never thought I would see that day. Anyway....I am rambling. I have loved doing the prom all these many favorite waking up the morning after....and finding out they all made it home safe and sound. I don't know about you guys....but things are not like they were when I was in school. Kids spend a major amount of money to stay at the prom less than an hour.....the true event of the the parties that follow. The kids buy fancy party dresses, rent tuxes, buy flowers for their tickets, have pictures made...and 10 are on their way to the other party. You want to be invited to one of the big parties...that means you are part of the in group. Some don't care....they go bowling and enjoy matter what they do. When I was in school....back in the stone ages....we went to the dance....and went home....period! Oh well....things go in a few will be back to the old way....thus is life! Here is to a great week. I am just glad prom is over.

Peace to you all, K

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Seeing Clay Again

Last night was a sad night for me. I went to the funeral home for a viewing of my friend, Jimmy Brown. Jimmy was a firefighter for the Auburn Fire Dept. so it was a very symbolic viewing. There were two Honor Guards posted at the head and foot of the coffin. They rotated off every 15 minutes. Well, after going through the viewing I ended up in the coffee room to visit....and there...sitting at one of the tables....was my former student Clay Carson! I was floored. I havge not seen this young man for 15 years. He did not look a day older than he did at graduation.

We hugged, told each other we loved each other, and sat down and had a rapid fire conversation. Our conversation was interrupted every fifteen minutes when he had to go and stand guard.

Who was Clay Carson? a teacher's life there comes along a student or two if you are lucky that really touch your heart. Clay was mine. I loved him from the first day he walked into my class. He was an awesome young man....with a heart for Jesus....and today, he is still an awesome young man with a heart for Jesus. What a guy!

I had Clay in Spanish class and he was a model student. He worked hard, gave 100% of himself everyday, and just made life wonderful! It does a teacher's heart good to see a student they had in the past....and how they are in the present! So many times we never know what happens to our former students.

Even though last night was a time of saddness, for me there was a touch of joy. Joy that I got to see that I made a small impact on someone's life. Joy that I truly had touched a life during his formative years....and made a difference. The words to the song, "What a Difference You Made in My Life" came to my mind...while I was waiting for Clay to return from Honor Guard duty. The chorus to the song goes something like this:
What a difference you?ve made in my life.
What a difference you?ve made in my life.
You?re my sunshine day and night.
Oh, what a difference you?ve madeIn my life.
This is truly what all teachers want to hear their former students say to them at some point down the road of life. I sat there with my former student last night though....and thought those things about him. He truly did make a diffence...he truly was my sunshine....he was that ray of hope that make me still want to teach. I touched a life once...and I am forever changed.

Friday, April 11, 2008

I'm Tired....or Am I?

“Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28

Have you ever noticed that a large number of my blogs seem to revolve around being tired? I seem to be blogging about how busy I have been, or how busy I currently am.... then I seem to launch into some tirade about how tired I am. You know in this fast– paced society we just don’t take the time to get the rest our bodies need. It is like being on an eternal merry-go-round. It continues to go round and round and never stops so that I can get off. I have to laugh because here I am on this busy roundabout thing called life, and I just keep going and going, like the Energizer bunny....never taking the time to just halt all the craziness and rest.

God showed me the error of my thoughts this past summer. I had so much to do, my dad was sick, my mom was sick, I was working overtime trying to get ready to go to Philly for a week long conference. Two days before leaving for the conference....I was jolted into reality. I was diagnosed as hypertensive...and a type II diabetic. The words fell like lead. I was told I had to begin a medicine treatment and get some rest....well, I was actually thinking that the conference would be a great rest period....depending on the definition used of rest....that's a joke! I was in Philly! So much to see and do....and little time. So there I was....getting ready for my trip, a whole week without the responsiblity of my parents. I was leaving it all for my husband to deal with....and was feeling a bit guilty because of this. I would deal with my problems when I returned. I would watch my sugar levels while I was gone...but I was going to eat a Philly Steak and Cheese.....from Geno's....or bust thunder.

Needless to say, by the time I boarded the plane in Atlanta, I was tired (physically, mentally, and emotionally). We hit the ground running in Philly. Our first day there was free until the afternoon so we used the time to sightsee. We did a lot of sightseeing. We saw all the things first time tourists must see. There were two things that really hit me....and none of them were the traditional things... The first thing that made me stop and take notice was the Love statue in the park. Love...when was the last time I actually thought about that word. Oh, I use it....with my family....but here it was....larger than life...staring at me. As I stood there....I softly sang...Jesus Loves Me....hum I wondered....where did that come from? I Corinthians 13 - the love chapter also entered my head....Love is patient, has to rest in order to shower others with love.

Our second stop was the Rocky Balboa monument. Here was a man....who overcame the things in life that should have defeated him.....hummmm....that was kind of me right now. I felt a tear slide down my cheek as I looked at the bronze statue. A burst of energy ran through me and I ran up the stairs Rocky runs up in the the top...I threw my hands in the air....I am one of God's chosen....I too can overcome the things in life that should defeat me. I spent a lot of time that day just reflecting and silently praising God for my salvation and just enjoying a slower pace. That night when we finally fell into bed I got some much needed rest. I could not remember when I had slept so soundly or deeply.

What a week Philly was. I loved every minute....and returned home so rejuvenated. Why? Just as God promises me in Matthew 11:28, I came to Him that week in Philly and He gave me the rest I so needed. All I have to do to get filled up and replenished is to spend time with Him. His strength is my strength. I just have to slow down!...and remember to check my blood sugar!

Happy Trails, Karen

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Maximum Overload!

I am so busy....sometimes I am not sure if I am coming or going.
Monday nights I guard. Monday nights are for those Emmaus meetings and Worship committee meetings that spring up. Most Monday's I am free. But what exactly does that mean?
Tuesday nights I teach two classes at a local college. I run home from school, fix supper for my parents and husband, rush to class before 5. I get home by 8 and then I clean up any mess left in the kitchen and get my stuff ready for Weds. It is a hectic day. Usually I drop into bed exhausted!
Wednesday nights I have Praise Band practice. I once again rush home, fix supper, eat, and hurry to practice. Some nights we are lucky and get out least by 8. Other nights it is more like 9 when I once again drag my tired body home, shower, and go to bed.
Thursday nights I am on Tuesday night's schedule. Frank bowls on Thursday nights so he does not get home until 9. I am almost comatose by the time he gets in.
Friday nights fluctuate depending on the season of the year. During the fall, I sell football tickets at the gate for our local high school team. The rest of the year this night is reserved for whatever I am not nailed with during the week.
Saturdays are my special days with my husband. We both lead such hectic lives during the week that on Saturdays we find time together. I look forward to these date days.
Sundays are hectice. I go to FUMC and praise band warm up by 7:45, the service at the Arbor is at 9, at 10 I bust the doors to get to my car and head to Waverly for church. I am a preacher's wife and want to support my husband in this endeavor.
So now let me ask you does this schedule look familiar? If you closed your eyes would you be looking at your own schedule? One of the biggest traps Satan has for us is that of a daily, very hectic schedule. It is easy to get caught up in way too many activities. Every year during Lent I decide to fix the clutter in my life and look at the activities I do, and ask myself just WHY do I do them. While outside activities aren't bad, I have to make sure that they don't take away from what is really important, spending time with God. Have I forgotten that somewhere along the way? Sometimes I feel so much pressure to be involved in so many activities because "everyone else is doing it." But then I stop and remind myself that I don't have to do things because everyone else is doing it. Romans 12:2 tells me not to conform after the pattern of the world. In fact, I am to be conformed to the likeness of Christ. (Rom. 8:29, II Cor. 3:18) Well, I ask myself....if I am so busy running here and there, how can I be conformed to His likeness? seeing that I am so busy running in too many directions at one time I must ask myself...just what kind of influences am I letting in? Are they good ones or bad ones? Romans 16:19 says to be wise about what is good and innocent about what is evil. If I hang around many ungodly influences, it is hard to maintain that innocence about what is evil. If I am being exposed to so many ungodly things, I am not protecting myself as I should be.I am opening the door to Satan and telling him to come on in!
It is through my quiet time that I have come to realize that Satan, the enemy, is using all my busy activities to distract me from what is really important? All of my "busyness" is one of his many schemes to destroy me and my walk with God. All the "stuff" I HAVE to do is just a scheme to take away my intimate family time with my husband, to destroy my devotional time, to destroy my time to relax, unwind and heal myself.
Before my parents moved in with Frank and I family meal time at the table was unheard of. Oh we ate the same front of a TV set....but there was no converstation, unless it was about the show we were watching. It is true that family devotions have become a thing of the past in many homes, Frank's call to the ministry has changed that for us. See, God is protecting me....even when I did not know I needed help! Rom. 12:1says to offer our bodies as living sacrifices, yet I am so busy sometimes that I feel like the "walking dead" because I am so tired.
In Titus 2:4-5 I find young women being encouraged to love their husbands, to love their children, to be self-controlled, chaste, good managers of our homes, to be kind, to be submissive to our husbands, so that the Word of God many not be discredited. Personally I cannot be a Titus 2:4-5 woman with my current level of activity? If I do not change my ways this "busyness" will rob me of those things which really are important. Time with God, Time with family, Time for self. Once I lay the busyness down....I will truly experience JOY.

Humbly His Servant,


Wednesday, April 9, 2008

On a Martha Becoming a Mary

In Luke 10:38-42 we read:
"As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!""Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "You are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her".

I can identify with this ultra busy woman. I am a Martha and I am often overwhelmed by the responsibilities of life. Sometimes I feel as if I have been left to do all the work ourselves. I can see Martha fussing in the kitchen, getting more frustrated by the moment as Mary sits at Jesus feet? Finally she speaks out….only to have Jesus lovingly tell her that just one thing is needed.

One thing! Out of all the many things I do, out of all the many distractions, out of all the many important things I do, only one thing is needed. What are you thinking Jesus? And just what do you think is that one thing? Well, when I ask that question....I come up with the same answer each time....the one thing...the one important thing is to do as Mary did and sit with Jesus, simply be in His presence.

I do so much for the Lord…..many things….busy things. Yet He is not calling meto work for Him…He is calling me to be with Him. He is calling me not to make a good…but to make a better choice. Out of that one thing I will find the purpose of my life as God wills it. God says to me that my soul will be fed by Him. I have to be willing to sit and listen and do as He tells me. If I am listening then I will understand. My problem so far is that I don't seem to know what to say "no" to.

I have to think a lot about what it would look like in my life if Iwere to become a "one thing" woman. My friends would be overjoyed. My God would be overjoyed. My husband would be overjoyed. I would not be so tired. I would find some time to be with Jesus. My friends who have mastered the "no" word tell me that me that when you have sat there you long to sit longer. I cannot imagine that. My life is distracted by many good things, like work, singing, writing, volunteering....but today I think I want to choose the better today…I want to begin carving out a bit of time to sit in His presence.

Music is the way I accomplish this. Music helps me clear away the distractions of everyday living. When I find I have become distracted and need to find that "one thing" that I know is needful, I find some quiet moments, put on some music, and praise God. I sit and listen and let the words of the songs become my prayers and my heart is refreshed. It is in the "one thing" that all the other things in my life can find balance. Music lets me find Jesus....when he has disappeared among all the clutter. Music is the release I need. Thank God He gave me the gift of I can praise Him with my "one thing."

A Humble Servant Who Has Not Mastered the Word "No," yet....but I will. I just know it....I will. I just have to let the Martha in me go....and find the Mary. She is there....waiting for me to become her....Ready of I come!

Monday, April 7, 2008

Dedication to a Life Well Lived

When I was a child my father would listen to Jim Ed Brown and his sisters sing a song called the "Three Bells." I have loved this song since the first time I heard it. It is one of those that always makes me cry. The lyrics that make me the saddest are these:
"From the village hidden deep in the valley
One rainy morning dark and gray
A soul winged its way to heaven
Jimmy Brown had passed away
Just a lonely bell was ringingIn the little valley town
Twas farewell that it was singing
To our good old Jimmy Brown
And the little congregation
Prayed for guidance from above
Lead us not into temptation,
May his soul find the salvation
Of thy great eternal love"

I am sad today. My real-friend Jimmy Brown passed away around midnight last night. Jimmy was more than a friend....he was extended family. His brother, Randy, is married to my cousin Amanda. I have had many a meal at the Brown family table as a teenager when Amanda was dating and first married to Randy. I got the phone call this morning and it made me sad, but only briefly. Sad, because Jimmy will be sorely missed by all who knew him. He was an awesome man of God. If you were ever around him you could feel God's Spirit moving like a mighty wind.

Jimmy was a fire-fighter at heart. He served a long time at the Auburn Fire Dept. and was well loved by all who knew him there and at the Fire Academy. I got to meet some of the Fire Academy guys last summer when they came to visit. Still Magnolias went to Jimmy's and sang with and for the guys. They truly loved this man. It was a powerful feeling to be in the league of brothers for a short period of time. There is a bond there that is eternal.

Jimmy was a man of God. He loved his God and he served his God. Even when cancer took control over his body anyone who knew Jimmy knew where he was in his walk with God. He was such a fierce believer. I am blessed for having known this man during my life on this earth.

Jimmy was a loving husband and father. Two of the most important people to him were his wife and his son. His pride in both shined when they were around or when he was talking about them. I know that there will be a big gap in their lives as they adjust to the absence of their loved one.

Jimmy was a loving brother to Randy and Debbie. I know they are both struggling today with this loss. I also know that they too are Christians and know that Jimmy is walking those streets of gold with God right now...and has already picked out his mansion and is waiting for all of us to get there so we can pick and sing on his new front porch.

I sat there this morning when I got the news and cried. I cried for his family and friends. I rejoiced for him because he was no longer in pain and he was with God. I had no doubt in my mind! I thought briefly about what Jimmy would say to us if he could give us a shout out from up above and I know he would be telling us all to get our lives together. The thing I think he would tell us all is to not waste a moment with anger towards those we love, enjoy life to its fullest now, and to not sweat the small stuff. We can chose to live and enjoy what we have in friends and family.....or we can work ourselves into an early grave. The choice of course is ours. I personally want to follow Jimmy's example and enjoy my family while I have the chance. The world lost a truly good guy last night. God gained another angel. My thoughts and prayers are with the Brown family and all the friends of Jimmy Brown. God Bless Us All!

Friday, April 4, 2008

Happy Friday!

The weekend has arrived and there is about 5 minutes before the bell sounds and the kids leave the building for the weekend. They are as excited as I am. Announcements are on and the kids are so quiet listening to the information droning out of the speaker box. Glazed eyes look at the board....waiting....counting down the minutes until that bell rings and we all run for our cars to get as far away from this place as we can....for a few days. A small reprieve from all the hum drum...end of the year stuff that goes along with school. I will pray that the kids will be safe this weekend....and especially tonight. We have bad weather in the area....and they take it so lightly.

Tomorrow is the New Life Festival at Southern Union in Wadley. I am excited about singing for the district and for Bishop Willomon. I will add that one to my list of life accomplishments....and singing for Kennedy and Nixon.

Sunday is church. I love Sundays. I love getting up early, having my quiet time, going to the Arbor and finishing up in Waverly. Sunday's are real high days for me. It is hard to bring me down then. I love all of the day. I think it is my favorite day of the whole week.

Then comes the Monday's....7 more of them til school is out for the summer. Here I sit...counting the days...wishing my life away....sigh....

Have a great weekend. I know I will!

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Help! My Hut is on Fire!

I got an email yesterday from my good friend Robert, aka Dr. Bob, it was a story about a shipwreck survivor and I thought it was profound enough to share it with you this morning.

When your hut's on fire
The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him. Every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming.. Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect him from the elements, and to store his few possessions. One day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, with smoke rolling up to the sky. He felt the worst had happened, and everything was lost. He was stunned with disbelief, grief, and anger. He cried out, 'God! How could you do this to me?' Early the next day, he was awakened by the sound of a ship approaching the island! It had come to rescue h im! 'How did you know I was here?' asked the weary man of his rescuers. 'We saw your smoke signal,' they replied.

The Moral of This Story:

It's easy to get discouraged when things are going bad, but we shouldn't lose heart, because God is at work in our lives, even in the midst of our pain and suffering. Remember that the next time your little hut seems to be burning to the ground. It just may be a smoke signal that summons the Grace of God.
My hut was on fire yesterday so I decided after reading this that I would consider passing this on, because you never know who else might feel as if their hut is on fire. So many times I find myself whining about things that happen to me only to realize down the road that it was actually a blessing in disguise. One of my blessings/discouragments is when my parents moved in with us three years ago. They were going to stay for four to six weeks and now three years later they are still with us. I have a husband that is a man among men....he is still married to me after all this! That is a hard thing to do. My mother is not an easy person to be with...she is one of the Irregular People author Joyce Landorf talks about in her book. I get discouraged sometimes with them when they won't eat...won't tell me where they are going...won't give up the big screen TV (trivial matter), recycle, all in all....interrupt my lifestyle....yet, after the discouragment passes....I see the blessing....I am fortunate enough to spend time with my parents that I would not have if they lived somewhere else. We eat most meals at the family table....and eventhough....neither of them remember much....and ask the same questions over and over....we are together.....That truly is a blessing. My friends don't understand why they are still with me....and not in assisted living somewhere....well...they don't want to live in assisted living....their version of that is living with me....and they will until I cannot help them anymore. Yes, my life is sort of on hold for the moment....but a moment in God's time is but a blink of an I laugh and so....ok, God....I am blinking. Peace to you all! Happy Thursday!

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Extreme Make-Overs

I love Sunday night television. My favorite show is Extreme Home Makeover. I watch it every chance I get and cry as I see each family give up something that is in a bad state of disrepair and come home to a mansion. Well, look at me. I am a big girl. I have a big girl body that is probably not the temple God meant for me to have....but because of vandalism and years of abuse it is as it is. I want to have an extreme temple make-over. Ok, so what is that going to entail? How can I make-over my temple to be modern, shiny, sleek, and new. A temple that makes people want to dwell there?
Step One - I have to clean the old stuff out. I have to clear my temple of all the old yard sale relics it has collected over the year. I have to dust out the cobwebs of the corners of my mind. I have to open the windows and let the light in. Whew...this is going to take some time....but then....time is what I have. Everyday that I draw breath on this me another day to clean up the temple.
Step Two - I have to acquire things for my temple to make it inviting. I need ornamentation that sets off the temple and makes it a place people want to come. I have to get rid of the clutter first....time to visit the Mission Thrift Store....I am feeling some donations coming on.
Step Three - I have to make a pact with myself never to let my temple get in such a state again. I should be ashamed at what I have allowed to happen. In my heart and mind I am....very ashamed. God created me in his image....and somewhere along the way....the Hindenburg crossed with a New York city ghetto image got in the way! How did I let this happen?
I let it happen when I left Satan get the best of me. I let Satan tell me I was not worthy of a pretty temple. I let Satan tell me that I could never have a pretty temple, and that I would always have a decrepit temple. Satan won....but just his battle....he has not won the war. I regrouped my army yesterday and decided that God and I were an undefeatable team. Today I am cleaning out my old ugly temple and I am armed with new paints, cleaning ingredients, and a primo decorator. I am empowered! My temple is not going to be complete in seven days like the houses on Extreme Home Makeover....but wait and see....give me seven months....check back with me in say, October and see my grand opening of the New and Improved Karen's Temple. I know you will be surprised. I won't be ....because I know....with God....all things are possible....including cleaning temples!

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Random Thoughts of an April Fool.

Thought 1 -
As much as I love my husband - the one thing I need to love more is myself. Only I can know what I need to survive, to flourish, and harnassing myself to someone who brings chaos into my life is not it. I can feel worthy; I can feel worthy being loyal to' I am worth my husband saying, "Yes, you are the most important person in my life."

Thought 2 -
Sometimes when success is robbed from me I think all of my Education professors from Auburn are going to snatch me from my classroom and make me stand naked before a tribunal of former teachers and students and expose all of my flaws and imperfections. I usually wake up before the jury reconvenes.

Thought 3 -
Sometimes when my loving husband has the very last word I think I am going to be placed in the corner of inadequate dummies and rot until I learn to "shut up!' I have to stop then and ask this really going to matter or make a difference in five years? Will this end the war in Iraq? Will this cause world peace? Most of the time...I realize it won't...and I move on about my business.

Thought 4 -
Sometimes when I miss the mark with my mother, or play the role of bad daughter I can hear the daughter behavior control specialists marching toward me to wash my mouth out with soap, or order me to go get a is at that moment that I look at my mom and feel helpless....helpless because she is locked inside a long-ago memory and is screaming to get out!