Today is Thursday and I went in to work...but did not stay. By 9:00 the Dadeville Healthcare Center people, Hospice, and the Lakeshore Community Hospital(where my parents were) had all called to tell me they were moving my parents to the Healthcare Center today at lunch and I needed to be there. I had forwarned my boss and his Administrative Assistant that this MIGHT happen....WHEW! I called downstairs and gave them a heads-up, went into Substitute plans mode, and prepared to leave school for the rest of the day. I picked up Frank enroute and we drove to Dadeville for the big move. When I got to the hospital I talked with my mom about what was happening...somewhat. I told her that Daddy needed some extra special care and that the hospital was sending him to the Healthcare Center and that they arranged for her to go too....I omitted the part that she was GOING too. We all have views of things because of things that we have experienced...or someone we love or know has experienced and I am no different. When I was a teenager I worked for a real-estate agent in Florida. Our office was next door to a nursing home facility. I used to park and walk by their open windows and have them call out to me in their little frail voices..."Help Me! They are hurting me! They are burning me!" One day...I got to work and shortly after I had arrived the F.B.I raided the place....and guess what...they were being hurt, burned, malnourished. They took all the little residents and placed them in other nursing homes...but the mark was there. Shortly after this incident my sweet neighbor Dobby and her sister Barty were placed. I was getting married and Dobby was not going to be able to attend my wedding...so I took my dress to them...modeled it in the cafeteria....for Dobby, Barty, and a host of little ancients I had never met. They were so excited and I loved being able to do this for them...but one of the little ladies never uttered a word. I asked the Director about her...and she told me that she was one of the transfers from the raided nursing home. She had been scalded many times...and had never spoken since she got there....so...do you think I have a colored view of nursing homes? You bet you bottom dollar...and here my parents are going. I have been beside myself this week...well...we got them placed...and I stayed long enough to see them both settled, feed my dad lunch, love on them both and then I had to go. I guess I got home around 3:00. I believe in my heart that this is best of them. I know it is best for my dad...he is past the stage of being taken care of at home...but it does not make it any easier...I have feelings of failure...My head knows we are doing the right thing...but once again my heart is in a quandry....darn that rascally heart. I wish it would get with the program!
1 comment:
Every frail elderly vulnerable person should have a daughter as wonderful as you! Truly, you are a model for loving caregiving. You are doing exactly what any of us would want done for our loved ones or even ourselves, if we get to the point where your parents are -- you are making tough decisions...but loving ones.
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