Update on Dad and the Five Stages of Grief

(My dad is the second one from the right. The oldest is my uncle Wilson, the next my uncle Cecil, then my dad, then my uncle Drew. They were handsome boys weren't they?) Several of you have asked how my dad is doing....well I guess I have not updated you in a while so I thought today was a good day to take care of that. Radiation is over for now....maybe. We had a CT scan yesterday and have a doctor's appointment on Weds. with Dr. Jahraus at the Cancer Center. Chemo was ended when he spent 8 days in the hospital getting blood. With all that said and done...his hair is almost gone...he just has tufts where it used to be. His eyes are sunken and he has no energy at all. He sleeps til 10:00 in the morning...and goes to bed by 4 in the afternoon. He does not talk a lot. He watches TV...and when you do get him to look at you...it is a blank stare. I miss my father. My dad was a vibrant fun and amusing man....this man in my house right now...is just a mere shell of the man I have known all my life. He does not know what day it is. He does not know what year it is. He still recognizes people....thank goodness for that....but to me it looks like he has quit. I guess I am a fortunate one...Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross has written about the five stages of grief and to be quite honest...it could be the stages of a person dealing with a loved one with a terminal illness. She says that,"at some point in our lives, each of us faces the loss of someone or something dear to us. The grief that follows such a loss can seem unbearable, but grief is actually a healing process. Grief is the emotional suffering we feel after a loss of some kind. The death of a loved one, loss of a limb, even intense disappointment can cause grief." Dr. Ross says that "sometimes people get stuck in one of the first four stages. Their lives can be painful until they move to the fifth stage - acceptance. The first stage is denial and isolation. I guess as a daddy's girl I have been hanging in a denial stage of all the things that are wrong with my dad.The second stage is Anger. I have been angry during my dad's illness....angry at the doctors, angry at my mom, angry at Frank, angry at my dad...even angry at God. The third stage is bargaining and oh yes,I have even found myself making bargains with God here. I have promised God all kinds of things...if he would just heal my dad. The fourth stage is depression and I have not been there yet. I hope I can be fortunate enough to skip that stage. Stage 5 is acceptance. It is what it is! My father is 83. His brothers died before they were 65. He is the only living sibling of 6. He is living on borrowed time to quote him. When he says that it makes me laugh...morbid thought...but he is so funny when he says it. Keep praying for my dad, my family, and me.....this is a difficult time for us. I appreciate all the prayers so far...and all the ones that have yet to be spoken.