Isaiah 6:8

8 Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?”And I said, “Here am I. Send me!”

Thursday, December 1, 2011

21 Ways to Know If You Are Dealing With a Teacher

I am different from other people.  I have a few quirks and most people who are teachers have them too.  It is just one of those things.  Jeff Foxworthy came up with a very accurate way to tell if you are dealing with a teacher and I had to share them.  Of course, I have left my own comments be prepared. 
#1. They get a secret thrill out of laminating things.(I love it so much I bought my own laminator).

 #2 They can hear 25 voices behind them and know exactly which one belongs to the child out of line.

 #3 They walk into a store and hear the words, "It's Ms./Mr. ____________ and know they have been spotted.(Once when I was doing afterschool detention....I had a student yell to his mom that there was his detention teacher.  I never knew detention was a class....guess when you spend two days a week in does become one.)

#4 They have 25 people who accidentally call them Mom/Dad at one time or another.(This even happens in high school.....of course I get called a few other choice names too.)

 #5 They can eat a multi-course meal in under 25 minutes. (I am the queen of this one...not only can we eat it....we can run copies and go to the bathroom)

#6 They've trained themselves to go to the bathroom at two distinct times of the day, lunch and planning period.(Occassionally I will slip in during the 4 minutes of class change....quickly!)

#7 They start saving other people's trash, because most likely, they can use that toilet paper tube or plastic butter tub for something in the classroom.

#8 They believe the Teacher's Lounge should be equipped with a margarita machine.(Dos bebidas por una precio)

#9 They want to slap the next person who says, "Must be nice to work 7 to 3 and have summers off". (That is a joke....and if we want to smart off about about the hours I grade things and plan at home?  You know....there are nurses who work on 7 and off 7....uhhhh...if you do the math that is only 6 month a year. Give teachers a break.  During my June/July break I have to attend workshops and conferences to get the CEU's I need to keep my license.  I work in my classroom at least two days a week.  yeah...I have summers off. (In whose dream?)

 #10 They believe chocolate is a food group.(Oh yeah!)

 #11 They can tell if it's a full moon without ever looking outside.(It is amazing that we have this extraordinary power....but it is true.  I can tell you without even looking.)  Those are the days I want to call in sick.

#12 They believe that unspeakable evils will befall them if anyone says, "Boy, the kids are sure mellow today." (Shhhh....He who shall remain nameless will hear you....when someone says this....teachers run!)

 #13 They feel the urge to talk to strange children and correct their behavior when they are out in public.

 #14 They believe in aerial spraying of Ritalin.

#15 They think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.

#16 They spend more money on school stuff than they do on their own children. (This is especially true during pro-ration.....I spend on average about 1000.00 a year extra.)

#17 They can't pass the school supply aisle without getting at least 5 items! (That is even true of high school teachers.  Especially when we are in cutsie mode and become wannabe elementary teachers.)

#18 They ask their friends to use their words and explain if the left hand turn he made was a "good choice" or "bad choice."

#19 They find true beauty in a can full of perfectly sharpened pencils.(This makes my day.) 

#20 They are secretly addicted to hand sanitizer. (I have it everywhere in my room, car, and desk)

#21 They understand, instantaneously, why a child behaves in a certain way after meeting his/her parents.  (Oh yes....the acorn does not fall too far from the is all about heredity!)


Mary said...

LOL! Those are sooo true! I'm definitely going to share those (with your permission, of course!)!!!

Sweet Tea said...

I could never be a teacher 'cause I eat too slowly. LOL
God bless you for all you do. . .
I am friends w/2 young teachers on FB. One is always complaining about her class, the other always talks so lovingly about her class. I love good, caring teachers and wish the others would do something else for a living.

Debby@Just Breathe said...

That is hysterical. I love it!

We would have people come into Hallmark and say what a fun job this must be. No way, it is some of the hardest work I had ever done and I find myself straightening cards in the grocery store, target and walmart!

Don't judge a book by its cover.