21 Ways to Know If You Are Dealing With a Teacher

I am different from other people.  I have a few quirks and most people who are teachers have them too.  It is just one of those things.  Jeff Foxworthy came up with a very accurate way to tell if you are dealing with a teacher and I had to share them.  Of course, I have left my own comments too.....so be prepared. 
#1. They get a secret thrill out of laminating things.(I love it so much I bought my own laminator).

 #2 They can hear 25 voices behind them and know exactly which one belongs to the child out of line.

 #3 They walk into a store and hear the words, "It's Ms./Mr. ____________ and know they have been spotted.(Once when I was doing afterschool detention....I had a student yell to his mom that there was his detention teacher.  I never knew detention was a class....guess when you spend two days a week in it...it does become one.)

#4 They have 25 people who accidentally call them Mom/Dad at one time or another.(This even happens in high school.....of course I get called a few other choice names too.)

 #5 They can eat a multi-course meal in under 25 minutes. (I am the queen of this one...not only can we eat it....we can run copies and go to the bathroom)

#6 They've trained themselves to go to the bathroom at two distinct times of the day, lunch and planning period.(Occassionally I will slip in during the 4 minutes of class change....quickly!)

#7 They start saving other people's trash, because most likely, they can use that toilet paper tube or plastic butter tub for something in the classroom.

#8 They believe the Teacher's Lounge should be equipped with a margarita machine.(Dos bebidas por una precio)

#9 They want to slap the next person who says, "Must be nice to work 7 to 3 and have summers off". (That is a joke....and if we want to smart off about that...how about the hours I grade things and plan at home?  You know....there are nurses who work on 7 and off 7....uhhhh...if you do the math that is only 6 month a year. Give teachers a break.  During my June/July break I have to attend workshops and conferences to get the CEU's I need to keep my license.  I work in my classroom at least two days a week.  yeah...I have summers off. (In whose dream?)

 #10 They believe chocolate is a food group.(Oh yeah!)

 #11 They can tell if it's a full moon without ever looking outside.(It is amazing that we have this extraordinary power....but it is true.  I can tell you without even looking.)  Those are the days I want to call in sick.

#12 They believe that unspeakable evils will befall them if anyone says, "Boy, the kids are sure mellow today." (Shhhh....He who shall remain nameless will hear you....when someone says this....teachers run!)

 #13 They feel the urge to talk to strange children and correct their behavior when they are out in public.

 #14 They believe in aerial spraying of Ritalin.

#15 They think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.

#16 They spend more money on school stuff than they do on their own children. (This is especially true during pro-ration.....I spend on average about 1000.00 a year extra.)

#17 They can't pass the school supply aisle without getting at least 5 items! (That is even true of high school teachers.  Especially when we are in cutsie mode and become wannabe elementary teachers.)

#18 They ask their friends to use their words and explain if the left hand turn he made was a "good choice" or "bad choice."

#19 They find true beauty in a can full of perfectly sharpened pencils.(This makes my day.) 

#20 They are secretly addicted to hand sanitizer. (I have it everywhere in my room, car, and desk)

#21 They understand, instantaneously, why a child behaves in a certain way after meeting his/her parents.  (Oh yes....the acorn does not fall too far from the tree....it is all about heredity!)
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