I am fortunate to have several people in my life that I call good friends. Not everyone is as lucky as I am. But I started asking myself...just what is a good friend? How do you describe or define one? I sat down at the computer and began to write what I have to have in a good friend. When I finished I decided that everyone needs this list because it would help them pick wisely.
The first quality of a good friend is that they will tell you the truth (even if it's something you don't want to hear). Believe me...my friends have told me several things throughout our lifetimes together that I could have done without hearing...but I am glad they were brave enough to tell me. I truly would have rather known how they felt than not.
The second quality I came up with is that a good friend will hear you out. Just as important as being honest is being a good listener, especially when you've got something important to talk to her about. I can't tell you the number of times I have bent the ear of Amanda, Mary, Deborah, Jo...many of my good friends who were willing to sit and let me spout off. Amanda would always give me a pad of paper and a pen and tell me to write it down. Some of Still Magnolia's best works have come out of Amanda hearing me out!
The third quality is that a good friend will stand up for you...they ought to have your back. (Assuming, of course, that you're right. And if you're not, kindly refer to quality
#1).
The fourth trait is that a good friend isn't just there for the fun times. They are also there when you're going through something tough - like family trouble, or the end of a bad marriage, the loss of a child, - your good friends are the ones who keep checking in on you. BTW...they are also NOT the ones who bail you out of jail...but the ones sitting there in the cell beside you said...Dang that was fun!
The fifth quality of a good a good friend is that they are someone you can trust. If you can't trust your friend with your secrets, then she's not a friend. (Nope...according to Websters dictionary....that would be your uh worst enemy). I have friends I trust so much....have spilled my guts to them...and they know, just like I do...that if we ever become NOT friends....I will have to kill them. They know entirely too much. Now...that is some more trust!
The last trait is that a good friend will apologize. Even good friends screw up sometimes. If your friend apologizes for her mistake, then she values your friendship more than she values being right all the time. Some people really have an issue with the being right thing. I am not one of those...I don't care who is right...or who is wrong...the friendship is what is important.
"Friendship isn't always easily described. The Eskimos, they say, have a hundred different words for snow. Unfortunately, the English language isn't quite as innovative, though it has vast opportunities to differentiate meaning. Certainly, Love is one of those opportunities. And so, too, is Friendship.
Instead of different words, however, we're stuck with simple adjectives. Close friend. Best friend. Childhood friend. Intimate friend. Trusted friend. Beloved friend. But whether you use adjectives or different words, few could deny the nearly infinite meaning in such a simple word.
Friends are special people. We can't pick our family, and we're sorely limited in the number of them at any rate. Society and mores (and often our own conscience) dictate we select a single mate. But our friends can be as diverse and infinite as the adjectives we choose. Our friends, in a very real sense, reflect the choices we make in life."
I want to share with you with a wonderfully simple poem about friendship by warmhrt. It is entitled: "A Simple Thank-You, My Friend"
Into the dim lit, bare walls of my world,
You entered, bringing light and life to me,
The vivid colors, painted with a swirl
Of wit and charm, of personality,
With tender care, you added comfort, warmth,
And images that line the now bright walls.
I look upon them fondly, bringing forth
A thankfulness that you walk in these halls
With me; our friendship has become a part
Of my world now; it has its special place,
Within my being, life, and in my heart,
Your name hangs right beside your smiling face.
Rememb'ring just how drab these walls had been,
I have to thank you for the light, my friend.
So for all my bloggy buddies out there...sleep well and know that you have a friend.
Friday, August 14, 2009
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3 comments:
Great post and SO true! I don't think I would make it without my girlfriends. They are some of the most important people in my life!!
YOU are a great friend!!!
Boy, if I go by these descriptions, I have NO good friends. Well, maybe one. There was a woman I thought was a very close friend, but when my daughter died, she was nowhere to be found. That taught me a good lesson. Thanks for these reminders of what I need to be.
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