Isaiah 6:8

8 Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?”And I said, “Here am I. Send me!”

Saturday, September 12, 2009

What A Week!

I have not been here much this week as you all know. I have gone back to work and am visiting my parents each evening after work to help them adjust. The adjustment period is going to take a while for my mom. My dad seems fine with it. They have had a good many visitors but each time I go my mom brings up the fact they are just going to be there for a day and she has been trying to get Dr. Powers on the phone to get him to let them go home (here to my house) where SHE can and will take care of my dad. My uncle Trollis went to see them on Thursday and she told him to go get her car taken care of...when I left I called him immediately to make sure he did not follow her directive...she cannot drive again. My dad ran a fever this week and seems weak...although my mom says he is improving daily...all I see is a man in bed by 4...sound asleep. She tells me of all his activity during the day but the director says he has little activity during the day. I am afraid for them both. I have slept soundly for the last few days knowing that they are safe and cared for. My head knows they are in a good place...my heart is not getting the message. Last night about 8:30 my mom called and wanted me to come to the Meadows first thing this morning...8:00. I don't know what she wants...but I am sure it has to do with leaving. Sigh! I saw a lawyer this week. My mom won't willingly give me a power of attorney...because it is her business, not mine. So I am going to have to sue them for conservatorship and take control without their permission. This way of doing things involves them having to go to the Probate Judge...with a lawyer and having the judge decide if they need to have a guardian to handle their affairs. I am afraid if I don't do this they won't pay their bills and the rent at the Meadows. I also had to work on getting a DD214(record of military service)for my dad so that the VA will pay part of his rent. That has been hard too. I had to get my dad to sign the papers and his handwriting has gone down a lot. He writes like a child now. It is so sad to see him fail so each day. I hate being put in this predicament. If only they had had foresight enough to take care of all of this before their healths began declining it would have been so much easier. I told my daughter that I will not allow this to happen to her. I plan to take care of my daughter and Frank's daughter so they neither of them have to experience this when I begin to age....begin...who am I kidding. I have aged 100 years in the last week. It was good getting back to school. I loved having something to do to occupy my mind. I understand my mom's restlessness because I am just like her. I don't sit still well...never have....even as a child. I have always needed something to do....even if it was reading a book. My mom does not read any more. I think that is sad. Both of them used to read a lot. Our house was always filled with books and the library was my favorite place to go. I have learned a great deal from this experience....some stuff I really did not ever want to know. I know what the term BOLO (be on the lookout) means, I know what a Silver Alert is, I know about conservertorship is and why it is actually better than a power of attorney in this case, I have sat in a lawyers office and discussed family secrets, I have hired my first lawyer, I know I have lots of friends, and I know I am loved. For my readers who have walked this path I am currently on...you understand what is happening, why it is so painful, and that I will get through it. For my readers who have yet to experience it...it is not fun, you feel as if you are in a living nightmare, and it will pass (they say). For those readers who may never have to go through this...count your blessings and pray for those of us who have been there, are there, and will be there. My God is a good God and He will keep me sane throughout this mess. He will help me survive what is to come. I know this in my head. My heart is having a hard time with this too. Happy Saturday to you all! Thank you for the comments of support. You will never know how special you all are to me. I AM a STILL MAGNOLIA and I will make it!

3 comments:

lagirl said...

Gosh, what a NIGHTMARE.
Oh how I feel badly for you, let me count the ways...I lost my Dad to Alz 2+ yrs ago, but my Mom was "in control" and totally able. She is now 80 and still in good health, but she would and will NEVER give either my sister or I any advance power to see that she is cared for if the time should come. I pray that she is well till God calls her to glory, but if for some reason that is not the case it will be an awful thing. We have already made a will and a trust so that these things will not be an issue as we age. . .You love your parents and have their best interest at heart. Try to forego feeling guilty. You have to do what you have to do to keep them safe and cared for. Thank God they have you.

Kelly said...

All I can say is bless your heart. I hope it gets easier. Keeping you in my prayers.

Leigh of Bloggeritaville said...

You are in my thoughts, Karen! GOd love you and bless you. I see you have a goos attorney, if not I would have recommended my brother, this is his specialty. I think it so important, as you say , to make decisions before they need to be made. Your in my continued prayers.