What Were They Thinking?

As a teacher I have seen some doozy names in my classes.  I usually am very cautious when it comes to pronouncing them because you just never know when Smith might be pronounced Jones.  My all time favorite was a student with the name Friendcedrick.  Yep, it is pronounced exactly like it looks....Friend Cedrick.  Being the curious one that I am had to ask this child where he got his name.  The student rolled his eyes at me and sighed as he said, "from my momma's friend cedrick."  I felt like an idiot.  Of course that was where he got that name....a moron could have figured that one out.  Anyways.....there are many other interesting names that I have either seen personally or heard about over the  years and I thought today was a good day for a good laugh.  Enjoy them.  So here is my extensive list of the worst names people have named their children:
Babie Boi (pronounced Baby Boy). How can this child ever join the football team?  I.V. This came from a mother having medications through an IV during the birth. She liked the twist on the name. Meconium. These are the first stools an infant makes. Mom heard this word during the birthing process and thought it pretty. Ecstasy. Yes, this little baby girl was called Ecstasy. She was made during it, and will probably be looking for it her whole life. Cherry. Not so bad. Until you look at the last name. Pieland. Yup, Cherry Pieland.  Brook L. Bridge.  I said to her, "I suppose your middle name is Lynn, right?'  She responded with a shocked, "YES!  How did you know?"  Believe me....I did learn something in college.
Of course, every month is taken. January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December.  I have had a number of continents and countries like China, Japan, America, Canada, Mexico,Italy, France, Asia, Africa and states like Montana, Wyoming, Alaska, and cities too like Dallas, Phenix, Eufaula, and one dessert....Mojave.  I have had students with names like Precious Unique, Shotatequila (and yes it was pronounced Shot a Tequila).  When I was in the hospital giving birth to Kat the lady in the room with me was combining name parts to come up with her baby's name so she would not hurt anyones feelings.  Good thought....the name was horrendous.  My mom's family had a baby sitter when she was little because both of my grandparents worked the 2nd shift.  Cat was her name and she used to tell stories about children in her family, Female Jones (pronounced Fuh Molly)...supposedly the mom had many children and was relieved when she realized the hospital had taken care of naming her baby for her....the little wrist band they put on children....boys wear one that says "male" and girls....well you get the picture.  She also would go on and tell about Syphilis and Gonorrhea (pronounced suh phyllis and Gon OR ia) the twins  and the last born in a family of eighteen.
I have had other teachers tell me of students named lemonjello and orangejello ( leMonjello and ORANjello), ABCDE (Ah BE sayday),  and last, but certainly not least is Sh**head - (pronounced Shuh Theed).  All I can say is....can you see these on a resume.  I had a friend once who was going to name her new born...all wrapped in pink, Blaze Starr.  I asked her if she was on drugs and then proceded to tell her that she was condemning that precious little one to a life of pole dancing.....or worse.  Godo thing she was a good friend and I could get away with that.  Anyways, she ended up calling her Hannah Naomi.....whoa, talk about a complete turn around.  All I have to say is....come on parents....they poor kids have to spell these names before they can leave kindergarten AND these names will be on their college applications, job applications, and resumes.  Give them a break....and while you are at it....give the teachers one too!  Happy Tuesday!