Isaiah 6:8

8 Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?”And I said, “Here am I. Send me!”

Friday, July 13, 2012

What i Wish I Could Have Told Her....But She Never Asked

Frank's daugher, Amy, gave birth to a daughter this week.  Her name is Amelia and she is breathtakingly beautiful.  The sad part is....we have only seen pictures of her on facebook.  Amy has not been part of our lives for almost 3 years.  It saddens me so that she is out there....so close...yet so far away.  I wish we could have had little chats about what she should expect when she found out she was having a girl.  I wanted to tell her about losing sleep, cleaning messy diapers, having her heart wrapped around a tiny little finger.  There was so much I wanted to say....but couldn't.  I remembered back to how I felt when my daughter was born. There was so much to share.....yes, the discomfort was a drag...but she would forget that the moment her daughter smiled into her face.  The smell of babies is still branded into my mind.  The exhaustion goes away.....and there was nothing I loved more than rocking my child in the middle of the night when everyone else was sleeping.  I wanted to tell her how her heart would melt when she would speak and realize that her new baby understood what she was saying....it is a mother child thing. I began to look at my own mother differently after I had a daughter of my own.  I memorized every bump, every curve, and wanted her to immediately call me momma.  I wanted to tell her of the sacrifices she will be making.  I wanted her to know the momma codes for healing the sick and hurt.  I wanted to prepare her for the time her child would wander away from her at the grocery store and the whole store would be placed on Code Adam.  I wanted to tell her how she would look at Stephen differently.  Yes, Amy when Amelia gets up to bat....Steve will hold his breath....I promise you.  No boy will ever be good enough for her.  She will measure her lifemate by him.  I wanted to tell Amy that no matter what might happen.....her daughter will always be her daughter.....and she will always be her mother.  I am sitting here reflecting on my relationship with my daughter and I have to chuckle....and tears fill my eyes.....the two of them will experience some magnificent experiences throughout little Amelia's life.  What can she expect as the mother of a girl?  Oh....let me tell you....it will be a wild ride...full of ups and downs, laughter and tears, I love yous and I hate yous, there will be drama (lots of it) and calm.....but I promise you it will be wonderful....absolutely wonderful.

3 comments:

Nonnie said...

Amelia is a beautiful baby. This story brings tears to my eyes.

Debby@Just Breathe said...

((HUGS)) I pray that you and Frank will have the opportunity to meet Amelia, that she will be able to know you and love you both. This really breaks my heart.

Linda Jackson said...

Beautiful post, Karen.