Team McCarley

Saturday we had a birthday party for Jett and Kruze.  Jett would be three on Monday and Kruze is two today.  I remember that time so well....we were planning on attending Jett's first birthday party when we got news Our orders were not to go to the hospital to be with Magen and Keaton....but to make sure Jetts first birthday was an awesome one.  We did what we were told.  What we didn't know was what was happening to Jett's momma and two little baby sisters to be.....in Birmingham.  The next part of my post was written by Magen and I felt I needed to share it.  This is written from the heart of one amazing young woman.  If I could say I had an idol....she would be it.  Taken from Magen's facebook post this morning) "Warning: long emotional post. Tomorrow is Kash and Kruze's 2nd birthday. I know, I can't believe it either! About this time 2 years ago several doctors have already came in to talk to me about their quality of life after birth, to make sure I understood exactly what was happening. I knew, but I also knew there was no stopping it. I had contractions all night and by morning I knew something was changing. They came in and checked me I was running a high fever and getting sick.... They told me there was nothing they could do to prolong it anymore, I was getting sicker and could become septic. It was then they brought in 2 DNR forms for the 2 beating hearts inside me. I was terrified.... the day you deliver shouldn't involve DNR papers. See the real problem was, even if they were born breathing, the equipment to keep them alive could possibly be too big to keep them that way ..... Kash was born first weighing 1 pound 3 ounces.... she was tiny, red, and beautiful. They didn't really even have to work much with her, she they put her on the vent and even let me touch her foot before taking her to the NICU. Kruze came an hour and 20 minutes later; however, they had to work with her. They actually worked for 4-5 minutes before she took a breath. We were later told that: there are certain criteria that an infant must meet to be resuscitated at birth, our Kruze did NOT meet any of them. ... not a one. In this case, they are to hand the baby to the mother and let her go. They worked hard on Kruze and they worked hard on her simply bc she had a sister waiting for her in the NICU. Kash served a greater purpose on this earth than I ever will. She gave me Kruze.

Although Kash is no longer physically with us, we still feel like a family of five. I always feel like someone is missing at our table. I always think of her, as I do Jett and Kruze, in the decisions I make. I want to make her proud always. She makes me a better mother. Holidays and birthdays are especially hard. Tomorrow will be a fun filled day for Kruze, I will make sure to stay extra busy. Lol"  Keep them in your prayers today....and tomorrow.  Magen made a facebook page in the beginning called, "Prayers for Kash and Kruze."  A few weeks ago she renamed the page...Live Laugh Love McCarley.  It is a beautiful place to visit.  If you get a chance I hope you do.