Momma-isms

I just have to laugh...or else I would probably cry.  I went to see my mom on Monday...after school and before helping to make hundreds of cheese balls.  We were lucky today and we got to have the private visiting room. I like this room because it has walls the color of mocha, a beautiful painting, some fake plants and actually comfortable chairs.  They allow us to go in there and shut the door and visit....and there is no one else looking at me with that all-knowing look.  In that little room....for just a few minutes....my mom is normal....or as normal as she can be in a geriatric psych ward.  BUT...Monday....I went through my standard pattern questions....and the responses she gave me made me want to laugh out loud.  Here are some of my favorite momma-isms from psych ward:
Me:  "I love this room don't you?" (talking about the visitation room we are in for the umpteenth time)
Her:  "Oh it is so pretty....I have never been here before."
Me:  "Momma, do you remember when you were born?"
Her:  "I sure do....1929 - July 9th!" (Hope rises....this is actually correct).
Me:  "Do you remember when I was born?" (Not a biggie here....I am an only child)
Her:  (sighing heavily) " Of course, you were there....1930."  (I nearly fell out of my chair)
Me:  "So how old were you when I was born?"
Her:  "I was exactly 55." (Ok...do the math people....I am currently....or at least until April 15th....56 years old.  My mom would be 111 years old.  I think that is some kind of record.)
Me:  "Frank is working or he would be with me." (Actually Frank lives an 1.5 hours away....in the opposite direction.)
Her:  "Are you and Frank still living together?  Did you ever get married?"  (You do remember that my Frank is a preacher....right?)
We sing a few songs, I hug her, and head home....I still have a 1.5 hour drive before I rest.  On my way home I actually cried.  I am so tired.  When she was at Adams (and she will return)....I could run over and see her during my planning period and after school if I wanted to.  It was almost walking distance from the high school.  Now she is 30 minutes further West from me....and it adds another 1.5 hours to my day.    So I leave my house at 5:45 and get home around 6:30.  BUT....I have to admit....God is in control.  On my way home....on XM radio....there he was....the King himself....singing "Peace in the Valley."  I hate it when Elvis sings that song....but on my way home....it was a moment of pure pleasure.  I won't have my mom with me forever....and one day we will both have "Peace in the Valley."  Can I get an AMEN!