Oh The Things Children Say!

I love children's comments.  They are so random and innocent and when a teacher buddy sent me this email I thought I would take some time off from Christmas posts and share it....of course with a running comment section.  I can actually close my eyes and hear my own children saying these things....or something darn near like them.
1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!" I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye....Ok...I have to comment here.  We exchanged gifts at our Bible Study on Monday night.  My precious friend, Carolyn, is in the same boat I am in.  She and her husband, Phil, are taking care of two aging parents.  She has been pretty much tied to the house since this began.....but she took some time off and came to be with us on Monday.  She shared a story about her MIL, Carlene, who had gotten a Christmas wall hanging that has "Do You See What I See" at the bottom.  Every night at dinner Carlene asks, "Do you see what I see?"  Their pat response is, "no grandmother what do you see?"  For our gift, Carolyn gave each of us a whipstick(lipstick) case....and when you opened it....there under the mirror was the question, "Do you see what I see?"  I have found myself opening mine up....just to SEE what I see.  Love it and thank you Carolyn for seeing the real me....always.
2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how
old I was, and I told him, 62. My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"  Got to love 'em.
3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair.. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"
4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo and I said, "No, how are we alike?'' "You're both old," he replied.
6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor. She told him she was
writing a story. "What's it about?" he asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."
7. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colours yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what colour it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these, yourself!"
8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."
9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not  sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised, "mine says I'm 4 to 6."
10. A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said, "how do you make babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."
11. Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. The small boy wrote:
"The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't
you know what pregnant means?" she asked. "Sure," said the young boy confidently. 'It means
carrying a child." (This one is definitely a delight for all English teachers out there.)
12. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started
discussing the dog's duties. "They use him to keep crowds back," said one child. "No," said another. "He's just for good luck." A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants."
13. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived. "Oh," he said, "she lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get her. Then, when we're done having her visit, we take her back to the airport."
14. Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good good things, but I don't get to see him enough to get as smart as him!
15. My Grandparents are funny, when they bend over; you hear gas leaks, and they blame their dog.  I have one more story to add to this one.  My parents lived with an elderly lady in Forsythe, GA once.  One time when we were visiting them Miss Virginia went to raise herself up from her chair and passed a wee bit of gas....and could not raise herself completely...so she sat down again.....and repeated the process....the WHOLE process...complete with passing gas.  The final time.....she started up...and passed gas very loudly as she raised herself from the chair.....my son, who was sitting at the table putting a puzzle together.....commented...."We have liftoff."  Yep, you got to love what comes out of the mouths of babes!  Happy Thursday!