Thought 1 -
As much as I love my husband - the one thing I need to love more is myself. Only I can know what I need to survive, to flourish, and harnassing myself to someone who brings chaos into my life is not it. I can feel worthy; I can feel worthy being loyal to' I am worth my husband saying, "Yes, you are the most important person in my life."
Thought 2 -
Sometimes when success is robbed from me I think all of my Education professors from Auburn are going to snatch me from my classroom and make me stand naked before a tribunal of former teachers and students and expose all of my flaws and imperfections. I usually wake up before the jury reconvenes.
Thought 3 -
Sometimes when my loving husband has the very last word I think I am going to be placed in the corner of inadequate dummies and rot until I learn to "shut up!' I have to stop then and ask myself....is this really going to matter or make a difference in five years? Will this end the war in Iraq? Will this cause world peace? Most of the time...I realize it won't...and I move on about my business.
Thought 4 -
Sometimes when I miss the mark with my mother, or play the role of bad daughter I can hear the daughter behavior control specialists marching toward me to wash my mouth out with soap, or order me to go get a switch...it is at that moment that I look at my mom and feel helpless....helpless because she is locked inside a long-ago memory and is screaming to get out!
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
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