Those Mammograms

Today is Thursday. It is has not been a great day at all...but it is a day. One more day that I can relish in the fact that I am alive and breathing. I had my female exam visit today. I dread that thing so much. A few years ago, Still Magnolias was invited to sing at a Citywide Health Fair in Columbus. Being the industrial chicks that we are ...we modified a song. The lyrics are ours...the tune belonged to a song done by Linda Ronstadt, Dolly Parton, and Emmylou Harris - my heros, called Those Memories. If you have ever heard that song...imagine it...as yo using these lyrics with it. We had the OB-GYN's in stitches...literally. I hope you ladies get a kick out of our song. (BTW...you should hear our menapause rendition)....we've got a million of them.

Those Mammograms

Chorus:
Those mammograms and, Lord, those pap smears
They come around, 'least once a year
I always dread them, but my doc-tor
Says, "Girl, you bet - - - ter get in here."

Verse 1:
I close my eyes, assume the position
I hold my breath and say a prayer
I think of Paris or someplace pleasant
I'd rather be...instead of here.

Verse 2:
In my paper vest, I place it just so
On that little shelf...they mash me flat
And then that tech says, "Just one more film, dear."
If you believe that, I'll kiss your.....rear.

Last Chorus:
Those mammograms and Lord, those pap smears
They come around, 'least once a year
Although we dread them, we still must have them
So we'll be here....this time next year.

We don't have school tomorrow because they are expecting snow. Try and stay warm and have a Happy Thursday!