Here's Your Sign

One of my all time favorite comedians is Bill Engvall.  I became aware of him shortly after the debut of his "Here's Your Sign" album.  I laughed myself silly over that one.  "Here’s Your Sign" was the debut comedy album of Bill Engvall. It was recorded at Mark Ridley's Comedy Castle in Royal Oak, MI. After years of success doing different comedic acts, Engvall released a CD of his material, including his most famous bit (which his debut album was named after). After peaking within the top-5 on both the Heatseekers and Hot Country Albums charts, as well as the top-50 on the Billboard 200, Engvall saw his career take off as he remains one of the most popular comedians of the past decade.  If you are not aware of the "Here's Your Sign" scenario it is an umbrella term for a recurring setup of Engvall's, in which Engvall describes people who ask questions to which the answers should be obvious, and in the process, Engvall shows these people to be stupid. With the tag, "Here's Your Sign", Engvall then metaphorically gives these people a sign declaring their stupidity as a warning to others interacting with this person.  You got to love it.
1.  My all time favorite one is about a truck driver who gets stuck under a bridge....a state trooper comes up and asks him if he is stuck.   The truck driver is thinking fast and his response is, "No sir, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."  Here is Your Sign! 
2.  My mother actually handed a bank teller at her bank a withdrawal slip for $400.00  She asked for large bills.  The teller looked at her and said "I'm sorry but all our bills are the same size.  Here's Your Sign.
3.  I read about a husband and wife who arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up their car, they were told the keys had been locked in it. They went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As the woman watched from the passenger side, she instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' she announced to the technician, 'it's open!' His reply: 'I know. I already got that side.'  Here is Your Sign!
4.  A couple had to have the garage door repaired. The repairman told them that one of their problems was that they did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.  The husband thought for a minute, and said that they had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.  the repairman shook his head and said, 'sir, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' the husband responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4.  The repairman said, 'NO, it's not..' Four is larger than two.' Here is Definitely Your Sign!  Even I can do that math.
5.  A driving aged daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'  He said he was sorry, but they only had iceburg lettuce.  Oh come on!  Here's Your Sign!
6.  This one actually happened to me.  I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I sarcastically replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'  He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'  Here's Your Sign!
7.  I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.   Here's Your Sign
I hope I brought a little humor to your Monday.  If you are bored and need a little more to laugh at....go and check out Bill Engvall on You Tube.  I promise you it will make your day.  Happy Monday!