Isaiah 6:8

8 Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?”And I said, “Here am I. Send me!”

Monday, February 21, 2011

To Burn....or Not to Burn....That is My Question!

“The hardest thing in life is to know which bridge to cross and which to burn” is a quote I have heard many times by  David Russell, yet my mom and dad always taught me that you "Don't Ever Burn Your Bridges!"  When life hits you hard, it's not always easy to remember that this is just temporary. When you are gasping for air, you forget about another world -- a place where there is no more hurt, no more fear, no more frustration.  Right now, I can't breathe. I long for a peace that I can't seem to find.  I have lost my song.  I pray but feel I am talking to the air.  Why is it that I seem to be able pray for others and feel like my prayers are being heard....but when I pray for my mom or myself....nothing....there is a heavy fog and nothing is getting through.  What is happening?  I look around and  I see need. I see purpose. I see signficance. This planet is a place that I can make a difference, a place where I can touch lives and help bring them from a hopeless existence to one of eternal consequnce.  I desire to do ASP(Appalachain Service Project) again.  I desire to write letters to people and share the Word of God with them.  I desire to take pictures of life and help others to see.  I have a passion to open the minds of the young people I teach and help them to learn...but somewhere between here...and there....I am foggy.  It was Emerson who said, "Men live on the brink of mysteries and harmonies into which they never enter. And with their hand on the door latch, they die outside."  I don't want to die outside.  I want to go on and enter.  Rather than look at our current existence as a holding cell, it should be a launching pad not just for eternity, but for significance.  Yeah, that is it....significance.  I want to be significant.  I want to be one of those people who's tombstone is not something chiseled in stone....but something that was chisled out of life.  I found myself sinking this weekend...into an abyss of sadness....and then Sunday happened....and I knew there were people out there....praying fervently for me....and it was a gorgeous day....and I discovered that  each day we wake up to the same two choices: Which bridges to cross and which bridges to burn. I have baggage I am dealing with right now......but Sunday I felt the need to let go of my baggage and let God have it. I can make a choice to either let that baggage and sadness drag me and beat me down....or I can rise from these ashes like a Phoenix and thrive. I have a future thanks to God. I have a wonderful, amazing life still ahead of me.  Burn bridges?  Sorry mom and dad...but I AM going to burn this bridge of sadness and fog.  Yep, I have a bridge to cross and I am going to cross over to the other side...and never pass this way again because God is my compass!  How about you?  Do you have a bridge in your life you need to cross?  I will be praying you can.  I have rambled enough today and I am feeling a ton better since I was able to put some order to my thoughts.  Have a great Monday and God Bless You real good!

6 comments:

Thena said...

I'm sure you touch your students lives everyday even if you don't ever see it at the time. Loved this post.

Love Bears All Things said...

A very touching post.
Mama Bear

Mary said...

For a "rambling", you really put your thoughts & feelings into words well. I'm so sorry that you're down and dealing with things I'm not sure I'd be strong enough to deal with. You are a strong woman; you're extremely strong in your faith. old onto it tightly and it will see you through.

Lisa said...

Karen,
What a blessing your post has been to me. I think we all feel like that, I know that I struggle to stay content. With practice it is getting easier because I have my eye on the prize of Heaven. I absolutely love your blog design, we are a music family....
take care friend
Lisa

Lisa said...

Karen,
What a blessing your post has been to me. I think we all feel like that, I know that I struggle to stay content. With practice it is getting easier because I have my eye on the prize of Heaven. I absolutely love your blog design, we are a music family....
take care friend
Lisa

Trina said...

This will probably be one of my all-time favorite posts by you, and you know I love all your posts! I wish I could do something to help ease the fog for you, but all I really can do is pray and be a shoulder for you ANY time you need one. I don't think your mom or your dad would mind you burning this bridge. I think they would tell you to burn it and be free from the heartache that has been a part of it. You know, burning bridges doesn't mean that we have to let go of the memories that we have from the other side. It just means letting go of the things that we can't deal with any longer. Love you, girl!