Am I Half Empty or Half Full

¹⁶ I ask the Father in his great glory to give you the power to be strong inwardly through his Spirit.¹⁷ I pray that Christ will live in your hearts by faith and that your life will be strong in love and be built on love.¹⁸ And I pray that you and all God's holy people will have the power to understand the greatness of Christ's love—how wide and how long and how high and how deep that love is.¹⁹ Christ's love is greater than anyone can ever know, but I pray that you will be able to know that love. Then you can be filled with the fullness of God.²⁰ With God's power working in us, God can do much, much more than anything we can ask or imagine.²¹ To him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus for all time, forever and ever. Amen." (New Century Version)
School has begun again.  It is this 2011/2012 school year and a year closer to me retiring and just like years in the past it takes a while for me to get back into the swing of things.  I have a tendency to either do things wide open....or dead stopped.  It is when I have been working wide open that I sometimes find myself dinging because there is nothing in my tank and I am running on empty.  This is especially true if I am giving out a lot of me to other things. I know it seems hard to believe bu giving my time or talents, leaves me feeling quite drained, especially if I haven’t takn the time to stop and ‘full up’. That is the one good thing about my hour ride in the morning.....I have one hour from Rock Mills down Hwy 22 to come before God and be filled anew with the Holy Spirit.  The greatest thing is that not only do I have one hour coming to school each morning to be filled and prepare myself for the seemless onslaught of people wanting a part of me.....but I have that same hour on the flip side to rid myself of things that have bothered me during the day.   I like this because for the most part...when I get home....Frank does not have to suffer my day with me.   Now, don't get me wrong....there are times that I could drive to Alaska and still have issues.....but they are far and few.
What I have to remember is that I cannot continue to give of myself until there is nothing left inside to give. I have a tendency to try and do just that.  I don't want to let anyone down.  I want to be all things for all people.  I push until there is no more.  When I do this it only causes me grief, exhaustion,and stress that personally I don’t need. I think this is the quickest way to burn out on anything.  So, over the summer I decided that this summer I was going to take care of  Karen.  I was going to feed her spiritually, mentally, and emotionally.  I needed this.  The last 22 months had taken their toll on me and I was empty to the point of being stranded by the roadside with no gas to take me any further.  It was time for me to come in for a ‘full up’ of the Holy Spirit. It was time for me to just spend some quality time with God in peace and quiet. It was time for me to revitalize and refresh.  I read a lot of books by Patsy Clairmont, Lisa Harper, Sheila Walsh and felt the gas hand begin to move from the dreaded E to an F.  I spent some time on Marcies porch with friends, I attended a Women of Faith conference with my daughter, I went on the infamous SMAK girl's trip to Nantucket....and then....it was time for school to start.....but...I was prepared...I would not be starting out my year running half empty.  I have a full tank and am ready to take on the world.  I am back having my daily Hwy 22 prayers....and loving it.  God is so good....all the time!