Isaiah 6:8

8 Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?”And I said, “Here am I. Send me!”

Saturday, March 24, 2012

What A Woman Needs and Wants

I have a wonderful husband.  One night a week we have date night.  It may not be a huge deal....but it is the two of us...and we hold hands and act like newlyweds and I love it.  One of my favorite movies was when Mel Gibson played a character a few years ago that embodied the dream of every man. From the smallest boy who has just discovered that girls and not all uchy, to the patriarchal grandfather rocking away his retirement years on the front porch, I truly believe that all men at some time daydream of  knowing just what women what.  Mel Gibson’s character was an advertising executive. He was trying to write ads for women’s produces. To better understand women, he in his bathroom where he has put on a pair of pantyhose and smeared hair removal wax on his legs. When he rips the dried wax off, hair and all, he losses his balance and falls into a tub of water along with the hair dryer he is using. He is electrocuted. The result of his electrifying experience is the supernatural ability to hear the thoughts of the opposite sex. In case women did not know it, we really are hard for  men to read. The best men can do is guess at what we want, and hope and pray that they hit it half the time.  I know, as a woman, that it probably seems at times as if you are speaking a foreign language.  So today I am going to give you a few hints from a know that kind that if you could read a women’s thoughts you might possibly know what would we are thinking.
First I would suggest women want men who are not too busy to listen. Even Jesus tells us this in
James 1:19 "My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry."  That applies to us as women too.  William Barclay said, "There are few wise men who have not been impressed by the dangers of being too quick to speak and too unwilling to listen."  Come on guys, do not get so busy you fail to listen. Often all your wife needs is a listening ear.  I will be honest..... “We don’t need for you to fix all our problems; we just want you to listen.”  I am telling all of you men, listening is hard work. To listen you must focus on the person speaking. Too often your minds are so filled with the cares of the day and you do not really listen to your wives.
The second thing a woman would say to men is, “Don’t be too arrogant to learn.”  Solomon warns us
in Proverbs 13:10, "Pride only breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice."
How easy it is to think you know everything just because you know some things. Have you ever been around someone who thinks he or she knows it all? You begin to resent them and dread the next time you have to meet them.  When any person is filled with pride and arrogance people hate to be around them.  I know I do.  Anyone who is like this needs to be humble enough to learn from others especially their wives and children.  One of my favorite authors Max Lucado,  suggests this scenario..
You came home cranky because a deadline got moved up. She came home grumpy because the day-care forgot to give your five-year-old her throat medicine. Each of you was wanting a little sympathy from the other, but neither got any. So there you sit at the dinner table—cranky and grumpy—with little Emily, your daughter. Emily folds her hands to pray (as she has been taught), and the two of you bow your heads (but not your hearts) and listen. From where this prayer comes, God only knows.
“God, it’s Emily. How are you? I’m fine, thank you. Mom and Dad are mad. I don’t know why. We’ve got birds and toys and mashed potatoes and each other. Maybe you can get them to stop being mad? Please do, or it’s just gonna be you and me having any fun tonight. Amen.”  The prayer is answered before it’s finished, you both look up in the middle and laugh at the end and shake your heads and say you’re sorry. And you both thank God for the little voice who reminded you about what really matters.Third I believe women would say to their husbands, “Don’t be too stoic to show love.”Hosea admonitions us in 3:1 niv  “Go, show your love to your wife.”  And Paul challenges all of us to:  "21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,” He goes on to say, each husband is to love his his wife as he loves himself.   Don't you see that there is no place for a stoic attitude of indifference in these words. Paul is calling men to show their love for their wives.  I got an email about a couple that went to marriage counseling. She told the counseling through her tears, my husband does not love me any more. Her husband bristled up and said in his defense, “I told you I love you thirty years ago, I don’t see why I have to say it now, if I change my mind, I will let you know.”  I believe many men really love their wives, but they do not show it. They aren’t good at expressing their love.I am one of the fortunate ones here.  Frank is good at expressing love.  How?  Well he plans for more time together, just the two of us. We have get-aways.  He does things for me around the house with no thought of reward.  There is usually a good attitude at home.  He is very affectionate.  We found a hobby to do together - we bowl on Thursday nights.  We trust each other completely?  He is very sensitive to my needs and I do my best to be available to meet his.  Finally I suggest men should know not to be too afraid to lead.  Colossians 3:18:  "Wives, be in subjection to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them."  Ephesians 5:21-22:  "21subjecting yourselves one to another in the fear of Christ. 22Wives, be in subjection unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord." Today part of loving your wife is stepping up to the plate and taking the spiritual leadership in the home. That means doing things like studying your bible, leading your children reading their Bible and pray, being excited about going to church, taking up his spiritual responsibility.  Now, I will be honest....everything is not sunshine and lollipops all the time in the Korb house.....but I am fortunate to have a great marriage and a wonderful husband....and we both are servants of God. Have a blessed Saturday.


Love Bears All Things said...

A wonderful post...I am one of the fortunate ones also...after 45 years of marriage, we both must be doing something right...I know that men and women express love in different ways, thus the 5 Languages of Love...we just have to be sensitive to what our partner needs...Love is in the little things...Jim and I still hold hands, too, I am a touchy feely person, him, not so much but he has learned how nourishing touch can be...
Mama Bear

Debby@Just Breathe said...

Love that Mel Gibson movie. Love the prayer of Emily. I can spell things out a million times and he still doesn't get the hint. Your lucky and blessed.